December 7, 2010

KATY PERRY – was in Munich this weekend for Oktoberfest and to do some weird German TV show. Since she’s weird as hell too it was the most perfect fit since I hosted a show on the Handsome Man Channel. (pictures here)

SUPERMAN – is being produced by Christopher Nolan and written by Nolan and David Goyer (they directed and wrote ‘Batman Begins’ and ‘the Dark Knight’), and today it was announced that it will be directed by Zack Snyder, who directed ‘300′ and ‘Watchmen’. Will it be in 3D? Maybe. Will it have tons of slow motion bullshit and homoerotic outfits? Yes. (LA Times)

50 CENT – might have been on a date last night in New Orleans with Chelsea Handler. I’ve got a good feeling about these two. Wedding bells can’t be far off, I bet. (tmz)

LINDSAY LOHAN – sucks. The reviews for the debut of her fashion line could have been worse, but only if they included a bunch of racist name calling for some reason. (tyler)

LADY GAGA – does cocaine a couple of times a year but doesn’t condone it or think her fans should emulate her. She does want them to continue having terrible taste in music though. (us)

BRITNEY SPEARS – wore a see-thru t-shirt. It really isn’t very newsworthy, but what can I say, I just really love looking at girls’ tits. (pictures here)

JON MAYER – went on tumblr and said the Huffington Post is “full of shit”, in a 463 word response to a 150 word story that implied he might be back together with Jennifer Aniston. Maybe he overreacted, but let’s see someone blab that you’re dating that fug bitch and see how you like it. (tumblr)

MIRANDA KERR – has confirmed the rumor that she’s pregnant. (popeater)
* don’t I know it, heh-heh-heh *

SANDRA BULLOCK – says there is no chance at a reconciliation with Jesse James, who has taken the hint and started dating Kat Von D. It’s just like the last time I got dumped, except instead of banging new stray pussy, I carved FATTY into my arm and cried a lot. (tyler)

LINDSAY LOHAN – has been offered $1 million by OK! magazine for her first interview out of rehab. Is she in a good place now? Is the media always lying about her, and does she just want to concentrate on work now? I wonder what she’ll say. I bet it’s surprising. (hollywood reporter)

MEGAN FOX – sometimes borrows shirts, like the Star Wars one pictured, from her 8-year-old step-son, according to the Daily Mail. Which is why I mailed her step-son a fishnet tank top. (pictures here)

MICHAEL DOUGLAS – has throat cancer, and is about to start 8 weeks of chemo. And since if he dies, Catherine Zeta Jones will be rich and single, his treatment isn’t gonna go so well if you catch my drift. (the sun)

LAURENCE FISHBURNE – has spoken to his daughter Montana for the first time since she announced she’s going into porn, but it was only to tell her he isn’t speaking to her until she gets out of porn. Luckily for him there are a lot of girls out there named “Montana Fishburne”. I bet most of his friends haven’t even made the connection. (popeater)

JESSICA SIMPSON – says she wishes she had a bigger ass and smaller tits. In other words, unemployed and anonymous. (huff post)