For some reason I had it in my head that Get Rich or Die Tryin’ opened today. I guess it actually opens November 9th. But, whatever, I’d already tagged these pictures of Columbian supermodel Sofia Vergara at the premiere Wednesday night, so they’re going up. Keep in mind that this is the girl Tom Cruise dated for 30 seconds before hooking up with the easily tricked Katie Holmes. I guess Sofia’s will wasn’t as pliable. Or maybe you don’t need sham religion when you have giant boobs. Her life is already perfect with those things to stare at all day, good luck trying to get her to care about aliens in volcanoes. I had to settle for being a genius and a lifetime of fighting those fatcats in Detroit who want you to believe that my inventions are only an urban legend.
Yeah, some of those aren’t the most flattering pictures in the world. In fact, she’s not even the hottest girl pictured. That would be the girl in the yellow (pic 1). So here are some of Sofia’s modeling pictures. She seems to be the kind of girl that other girls would make a move on after one too many Smirnoff Ice. A little fuller, kind of exotic. Soft. Not the rail thin blond. To which my penis says, “yeah that’s fine too, look, whatever, just drink this and hit this and go talk to her.”