Joaquin Phoenix is lucky

The AP says that Joaquin Phoenix’s car overturned on a canyon road in the Hollywood Hills and collided with another vehicle after his brakes went out. There were no reports of injury. According to police reports, Phoenix was driving east 2:50 p.m. when he realized his brakes were not working, he lost control of his car, which overturned and hit another vehicle also headed east.


Yeah, okay, I’m not sure how much the police were paid to go along with this fantasy, but “the brakes went out” is publicist code for “my client was driving down the hill with a hooker in his lap while they chased the dragon”. What was he driving, a 1962 Toranado? Quick question to everyone reading this, when was the last time your brakes went out and you flipped your car in the middle of the afternoon? Yeah, that’s what I thought.