The first rule is, you do not watch SNL. Anything good will end up on GMask.
Second rule is, if the cops agree not to arrest you, even after you do a 20 foot rail of coke on videotape, you DO go talk to them. Do not ignore them while you party for 13 hours straight in Paris. If you don’t want them to think you’re high, stop acting like it.
Third rule, for the ladies, and get this through your head, if a guy cheats on you, it’s because he is not committed to you. If you dump him and he begs to get you back, it’s only so he can dump you later. It’s a power play. Ask Sienna Miller. In the end, you will thank me.