Charlie Sheen (who never finished Santa Monica High School because he was expelled for poor attendance and bad grades just weeks before graduation) has called for a new independent investigation of the circumstances surrounding the September 11 terrorist attacks against the United States. Sheen (who has been arrested five times for drug possession, soliciting prostitutes and credit card fraud) says he has problems believing the government’s official version of events. Sheen (who was engaged to porn star Ginger Lynn and once made plans to fake her death, then have her undergo extensive plastic surgery and assume a new identity to hide her past) says that the biggest conspiracy theory was put out by the government itself, but the public may finally be catching on:
“It feels like from the people I talk to in and around my circles, it seems like the worm is turning.”
Sheen may believe that because he heard something from a hooker at a coke party in Malibu, and then heard the same thing from a hooker at a coke party on South Beach, the whole country is talking about it, but Sheen (who has been in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction at least 3 times) is quick to point out that he has had lingering questions from the very first day.
“There was a feeling, it just didn’t look any commercial jetliner I’ve flown on any time in my life and then when the buildings came down later on that day I said to my brother ‘call me insane, but did it sorta look like those buildings came down in a controlled demolition’?”
Now, I haven’t seen as many buildings explode because someone speared it with a 767 as Charlie Sheen apparently has, so I don’t pretend to know how to compare the two, but one time I went into the kitchen and my dog was eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, even though my dog had never shown the skill or training necessary to steal my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the past. Charlie and I talked about, and we totally agree that President Bush was behind it.
posted by Brendon, 6:37 AM, Source = InfoWars
update – okay, so a couple people wrote in because they didn’t believe the thing about Charlie Sheen faking Ginger Lynn’s death, so I cut up the audio of Ginger on Loveline where she talks about it. You can hear that here.