Charlize Theron is not single

Charlize Theron is angry at reports that started over the weekend claiming she has broken up with longtime boyfriend Stuart Townsend. Theron insists they are still together and very happy. Rumors began when Theron was seen at recent awards ceremonies – including the Oscars, where she was nominated for Best Actress and took her mom as a date – but she insists that is simply because her Irish lover has been away working. Theron’s publicist released this statement:

“Stuart and Charlize have not broken up. Next week everyone will be calling me saying they were married. We can’t win.”

I wrote “lover” because IMDb wrote “lover”, which makes him sound like he sweeps her off her feet to his pirate ship while wind whips through his hair and he gently ties a velvet blindfold over eyes and feeds her strawberries, but that may not be the case. Because this guy seems like kind of a dullard. And she’s no catch either. I’m inclined to believe they are still together, because no one would claim to be with Stuart Townsend unless they absolutely had too.

These pictures are old, but I’m pretty lazy, so there you go.