Hello Magazine has an article this morning about how tough it is for Sarah Jessica Parker to leave her kids to make million of dollars filming movies no one will ever see, which I don’t care about either, but I had to preface this with something. God she’s disgusting. This is her at the press conference in Germany for Failure to Launch. I didn’t roust her out of bed and take these or sneak into her gingerbread house while she was luring children into an oven. This is her after 15 hours of hair and wardrobe and makeup. The good news for her is that she’s a monster, so George Clooney will still have sex with her. The bad news is no one else with any self respect will. My penis would be scared to death, and it saved some orphans from a grizzly bear one time.