The 78th Academy Awards, part 2

(Sorry, that last post was getting too long for the publishing software)


8:05 – Reese was an absolute mortal lock for Outstanding Actress. People absolutely love her. I had an acting class with her a few years ago and we did a scene once and afterward she winked at me and said, “I’ll see you at the top, baby”. Wait, no, that’s not true at all.


8:12 – Dustin Hoffman is a fucking moron. Just say the words, monkey. This is being broadcast, this isn’t your own personal greeting card. Just read the teleprompter. There may be no bigger chasm is regards to someone Hollywood thinks we all like and someone we really do. Sam Jackson is a close second.


8:15 – How many vicodin and valium did the Brokeback screenwriter chick take? 50? 100? 150? The answer is 120, my friends. 120.


8:27 – And the Oscar goes to ‘Crash’. Nice. Fuckin nice. I don’t know anyone who actually like ‘Brokeback’. Seriously. Not one single person. It’s like this girl I dated in high school, real pretty to look at but 5 minutes in and you have to stab yourself in the hand to stop from yawning.


8:30 – Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure you could have let the producer chick accepting for Best Picture run a few seconds long. It’s the last award of the night. Why not just go up there and push her in a puddle of mud.


go to Part One