I like putting up pictures – mostly because I can barely read – but also because it’s the best way to show what a skin crawling nightmare Hollywood can be. If I just told you that Kellie Pickler was at a party and having her picture taken with a former American Idol finalist and some guy who looked like a retired international jewel thief, it might sound fun, even charming. But as you can tell, the reality is much much different. It’s a dead fish in a Jesus wig and a checkered coat and some guy 14 times your age pawing all over you. It’s not fun, it’s fuckin creepy. Call me delightfully old fashioned, but this is why when I want to get laid, I just set up a fake production office and put an ad on Craigslist for aspiring nude models.
Of course, this is what Kellie Pickler wore to prom when she was 16. She’s basically better at being Britney than Britney ever was, so she’ll probably do really well in Hollywood.