By brendon August 31, 2006 @ 8:42 AM

In what has to be the weirdest possible celebrity pairing imaginable, Lance Armstrong was seen earlier this week at a club on the Sunset Strip with Paris Hilton.  Page Six says:

The two showed up to the Key Club in L.A. Tuesday night to catch the band the Vacation. "They came together, they hung out and left together," said our spy.

There’s simply no possible way this hussy has some layer of depth that makes her tolerable to seemingly normal people like Lance Armstrong and Justin Timberlake, is there?  It can't be.  I have to assume he banged her, because that's Paris Hiltons only use.  Normally women can at least be good for baking me a pie and fetching my slippers, but I wouldn’t even trust Paris to do that right.  I’d almost certainly end up with scalding hot pie on my feet.

(28) Comments

  1. avatar
    alcimedes 08/31/2006 09:47

    Maybe after defeating horrible, life threatening cancer of his body, Lance has decided to try and vanquish Paris, a cancer of society.

  2. avatar
    Data 08/31/2006 09:57

    It would be a terrible terrible irony for the man who has survived just about everything to be struck down by some sort of STD carried by Typhoid Paris here.

  3. avatar
    Mike04 08/31/2006 10:06

    Lance Armstrong ditched his first wife of 5 years for fame, ditched his second wife after 6 months because he couldn’t deal with her having cancer, and in the middle of everything going on in the world, Dubya goes bike riding with him. He deserves whatever he gets from her.

  4. avatar
    David02 08/31/2006 10:17

    is that bush hair visible through that underwear?? classy. that must have been what mesmerized lance.

  5. avatar
    rein 08/31/2006 11:06

    He was better off with the testicular cancer.

  6. avatar
    Bastian 08/31/2006 11:12

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, Paris is dumb and bitchy and pretty bad at everything… But one thing is for sure: I’d fuck her. With a Condom. Her fugly sister on the other hand… Isn’t the younger sister supposed to look better or stay skinnier longer…
    @ rein: LOL…

  7. avatar
    Edgar 08/31/2006 11:13

    Lance is fucking insane man. His other nut will fall off just by touching that slut.

  8. avatar
    JP 08/31/2006 11:26

    Ew. I can smell her stinky vag from here

  9. avatar
    EsseQuamVideri 08/31/2006 14:03

    So no one said. Is this Paris going to work in a whore house? Not just any whore house, mind you, but one she owns and her sister decorated poorly.

  10. avatar
    sicksauce 08/31/2006 14:36

    When I hoped Paris Hilton would get cancer, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.

  11. avatar
    DeadElvis 08/31/2006 14:37

    OK, now is the time. I am going to start the “I have not slept with Paris Hilton nor Pamela Anderson” Club. I believe there might be a total of 8 or 9 guys in North America that can join.

  12. avatar
    paul 08/31/2006 15:04

    I cant wait to get the black wrist band to support lance’s “This bitch just gave me herpes now please help cure me” research center.

    Maybe his new motto should go from “LiveStrong” to “IturnedIntoAnAssbagStrong”

  13. avatar
    Jase 08/31/2006 15:22

    I call BS on this as she was in Vegas all day and night on Tuesday. She had an album (if you can call it that) release party at Pure that night and was actually given the key to the city during the day (wtf?) so Unless the date was wrong it didn’t happen.

  14. avatar
    Shadowdawn 08/31/2006 15:30

    Sicksauce, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.

  15. avatar
    MaddCoww 08/31/2006 15:34

    Sicksauce, I agree with ShadowDawn

  16. avatar
    sicksauce 08/31/2006 15:44

    Thank you, Thank you….

  17. avatar
    Shadowdawn 08/31/2006 15:46

    On that note: Can anyone say “hot dog in a hallway”? Matter of fact can she?

  18. avatar
    Sean01 08/31/2006 16:15

    Well, he did win the Tour de France 7 times in a row, maybe he’s just making one last stop in Paris before his 15 minutes are up.

  19. avatar
    Alan01 08/31/2006 17:05

    Sean wins.

  20. avatar
    rugdr 08/31/2006 18:40

    They both smoke weed. Thats something they could possibly be doing together instead of fucking.

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