TMZ reported late last night that Haley Hasselhoff, the 14 year-old-daughter of David Hasselhoff, had attempted suicide. The report was based on a call made by David to 911 operators where he claimed his daughter had cut herself and needed emergency care. But David’s ex-wife Pamela Bach denies this was ever the case. She says Haley was scratched by a house cat, and that David knew this and she has no idea why he called 911 or why he overreacted to this degree. Bach says:
"David called and I told him about the scratch. He said he was going to call the ambulance. I said 'David, what are you doing?' The next thing I know David called the ambulance. I am floored. Shocked. Last night was so bizarre. I don't know why David did this."
A spokesman for David Hasselhoff is backing away from any suicide claims:
"Upon boarding an overnight flight for overseas last night, Mr. Hasselhoff received a call from his oldest daughter alerting him that his younger daughter had been playing with the dog and cat at hers mother's home in the San Fernando Valley. The cat gave her a severe scratch on her forearm and she was bleeding. Mr. Hasselhoff did what any responsible parent would do. He called 911 to report the incident and asked if they would send someone to check up on his child."
Is this what the young people are doing today? Killing themselves with cats? I’m not an expert on suicide or the killing power of cats, but this way doesn’t seem super efficient. She should have used a razor or scalpel if this was just a cry for help, like me when I have one of my Christmas “accidents”. I'm over here carving “fatty” into my arm right now! God I'm so fat!
“David Hasselhoff Cannot Be Fooled.” Greatest. Headline. Ever.
Seriously, though, The Hoff seems to have acted as any parent would if they heard their daughter had been severly scratched by a cat. I kid you not, I know someone who had a minor cat scratch who ended up in the ICU on massive anti-biotics for 3 days. Cats ain’t to be fucked with, apparently. It’s in all the medical literature.
Apparently it runs in the family
I would eat his shit just to see.. wait, that’s Zed’s line, sorry.
fincan: nice.
Also the Hoff (as he allows me to call him) is quite clearly off the deep end. Although he nearly cut of his own arm shaving recently so I can understand his concern. I myself have a nasty scar as a result of throwing a cat at my best friend. In conclusion. I support and salute you Hoff, you prince among men.
I think this story proves one thing: This man is a fucking moron!
Look her up on myspace lol
Posted at 09/25/2006 16:42 by jenifer
I think this story proves one thing: This man is a fucking moron!!……………………………………………………………………But he is a RICH MORON! Anyways, first thought that came to brain was. Catch scratch fever….
http://img8.imagepile.net/img8/77722lulz.jpg
all cats must die
all i can say is i agree with reggid
I threw a cat on my sister once. It was all like “Rawww” and she was all like “waaaahhh” and I was all like “dude, awesome”. Childhood memories like that can’t be bought. Sold however can they be.
Hey Yoda, who the fuck would buy that memory?
Only woulda worked had she been injured or died via cattitude.
If anyone DID eat Hoff’s shit to see where it came from, twenty bucks says it would be leaking from a hole in the back of his head.
i suspect th kitty had enough of hearing “i’m hooked ona feeling” and decided to hook a claw in the nearest hasselhoff. poor girl. if the shame of having him as a dad doesn’t drive her off a cliff, i don’t know what could.
I’m sorry, I’m sure there’s something funny about the Hoff written in this piece, but I just can’t get past his hair in that photo. His wonderful hair.
Two Words….Michael Knight
Haley was probably playing daddy’s “Greatest German Hits” or something for the 10,000th time. Cat finally thought: “That’s it. Bitch gotta go.” and did the deed. Go Cat!