RYAN PHILLIPPE IS DRUNK, MAYBE HIGH

By brendon October 04, 2006 @ 9:02 AM

If you thought Ryan Phillipe looked drunk at last years Golden Globe awards, when his wife  Reese Witherspoon won Best Actress and Ryan jumped up and down and pointed into the audience and pumped his fists in the air, it turns out you're some kind of wunderkind psychic.  Ryan tells Rolling Stone:

"At the Golden Globes I was plastered.  Shirley MacLaine and I drank like crazy, just putting away bottles of wine and making fun of everyone."

And:

"The ultimate 20-year plan is to be living in the Caribbean, writing, living off the land, eating from the ocean and probably smoking herb."

He had to be high when he thought this plan up because that's the only time nonsense like this seems reasonable.  It sounds romantic and sexy, like an endless  Corona commercial, but the reality is you chasing a goat through the woods while a komodo dragon chases you.  You have scurvy now and a fever from the malaria, and they only thing you're writing is "HELP ME" in the sand with rocks.

wwtdd

(12) Comments

  1. avatar
    bryce 10/04/2006 09:28

    I live in the Caribbean and smoke herb. But I mostly eat at restaurants :-)

  2. avatar
    bj 10/04/2006 09:47

    heh, that’s the kind of things that stoners say. “Living off the land”, my ass. Most stoners think that is is the same as being a 4th-mealer at Taco Bell…

  3. avatar
    Anonymous 10/04/2006 10:07

    yeh but he’s rich, he can have servants do all the ‘off the land’ part while he does the living part

  4. avatar
    Bill 10/04/2006 10:22

    damnit he took my 20 year plan!

  5. avatar
    Ken 10/04/2006 10:46

    “…It sounds romantic and sexy, like an endless Corona commercial”

    Great line

  6. avatar
    Martin01 10/04/2006 11:19

    he’s still fuckin’ hot!

  7. avatar
    JC 10/04/2006 11:24

    The blonde leading the blonde.

  8. avatar
    Julz 10/04/2006 11:35

    Komodo dragons are only on Komodo…I can send you pictures of me holding the tail of one if you like. And the visual of this twerp getting plastered with Shirley Maclaine is awesome!!!! I’ll bet she had a few choice things to say about those actor retards.

  9. avatar
    James01 10/04/2006 12:12

    looking at that odd shaped head on that wife of his every day would make me want to strand myself on island too

  10. avatar
    Maureen 10/04/2006 13:29

    The only part of this plan I wouldnt like is the “living off the land” bit. Throw in a couple burger joints, and Im there baby!!

  11. avatar
    Zed 10/05/2006 05:33

    his daughter is fat and ugly!

  12. avatar
    Sebastian 10/05/2006 08:30

    I live in the Caribbean and it sucks. If Ryan Phillipe wants to swap lives with me, he’s welcome to.

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