For about a week now, a website called 'scenesfromacar' has offered what they claim to be the audio of a sex act featuring a well known star, who they describe only as “a regular in US Weekly, high seven figure salary per film“. That star is Lindsay Lohan. Or maybe not. But probably. Just do the math, man. The site says:
It all started when I was walking near the sound tent and my buddy waived me over, smiling and chuckling to himself. He handed me a pair of headphones and informed me that (the actresses) mic was still on … she gets into a vehicle and shares some sweet talk with a guy. I thought she had a boyfriend, but I don’t recognize this guy’s voice … There is some rustling, then the vehicle door opens … She reclines the seat and gets back in. Skip ahead, here is some more sweet talk, then some more rustling, then they start kissing and so forth … THEN, for twelve minutes and forty seven seconds, she gives him the sexiest blow job I have ever heard capped off by the words “Yeah, cum”.
Lindsays legend lives on! I didn't post this last week after brave brave Robert valiantly braved a series of dangerous tasks, each more grueling than the last, and sent it in, because I was hoping to hear back from the website after several emails. I never did, so who knows if this is even real. All we know for sure is that this is 100 percent real and that it is Lindsay Lohan. Man, she sure does love fuckin people. Her lungs must be amazing at this point. In fact I heard she can survive underwater for three days.
(btw, told you Linds was getting tubby. Someone needs to get back on the coke. Or start wearing stripes. And I don't mean vertical stripes, I mean racing stripes, maybe that will help her move faster and lose that double chin.)
SUPER SEXY UPDATE - Whatever you do, don't play reader Comron in poker. The dude is like a deductive genius or something. He points out that the clue on the page might mean the girl in the tape isn't Lindsay, but maybe Scarlett Johansson, another girl who fit's the bill and has a very distinctive voice Comron writes, "At the bottom of the page it says, 'For those that wanted a hint (infer what you will from this)'. Then it shows a red A. A red 'A' is the Scarlet letter."
Linds, Gotta start counting those semen calories. They can add up you know.
Double chin? Are you mad? She’s finally starting to look good again. You were all over her when she’s too skinny, and now she’s too fat?
Im not gonna lie- i just got a bit of a chubby when i read that part at the end “yeah-cum.”
Im telling you, I never digged her before, but everyday damn day she is growing on me. I think she looks great in that outfit. I’d stick it in her ass.
I thought cum was all protein? She must be mixing in some carbs.
She had the double chin when she was a skinny stick person. She just has a fat chin.
They actually clocked the blow job’s duration?
What Mario said. I hate this cum-chugging waste of space as much as the next person, but you can’t have it both ways.
Great, this girl I know doesn’t swallow cuz she says cum has like “3000 calories”. This is not helping the arguement. On the other hand, maybe I can get a BJ from LiLo. ….. A 12 minute blowjob WITH finish. Very impressive skills. I still think she’s a ho, but she is THE PEOPLE’S HO!
Too bad there’s no video. The audio stuff is just too easy to fake. But the thought of L-Lo going from “Herbie: Fully Loaded” to Lindsay’s Mouth, Fully Loaded…damn, hate to say it, but it works for me.
On further thought, I think we shold all stop mocking Lindsay Lohan. Are we really going to villify this girl for giving a bj in a car, TO COMPLETION!!! We should not be making fun of her, but applauding her and showing other women that this is a person to emulated. With a little luck and a little effort we can convince women everywhere that Lindsay is a role model!!! We can do it!! We can convince woman that taking a load in the mouth is just as natural as having a glass of water. After all, we convinced them that lesbianism is somethin all women do :-)
Is it really all that surprising that she would blow some random guy in a car? Wow… that is just SO classy. And even if she didn’t do it… does anyone doubt that she has before?
If I was a guy I sure as hell wouldn’t want her anywhere near my dick. There aint no telling what kind of crap she’s carrying with all of the screwing around she’s been doing.
Guys may find sluttiness to be sexy, but it’s not too sexy anymore when you start having warts pop up on your dick.
BTW, in that banner pic she looks about 40–if she keeps it up, she just may eclipse Tara Reid in the “Left out in the rain all night and rode hard” department.
Thank you Tony for the perfect “completion” manifesto. And Lisa - no offense, you do NOT know the “power of the dick”. Most guys would probably kill each other if Lindsay smacked her lips and then shouted: “Who’s next?” The riot would last for days.
I almost hate myself, but I’d kinda like to hear the tape.
Strangely, it’s only her face that seems to have put on weight - her breasts appear to have shrunk. Also, isn’t that Liz Taylor in the banner pic?
Yeah, she’s looking like a chipmunk in the banner pic. Except her cheek pouches mostly contain semen.
Hey, Linds. Are you up for giving me a Freaky Friday? See that? See what I just did? I made a funny. Heh heh. I wonder if she swallows? Ah, who am I kiddin? It’s Lindsay freakin’ Lohan. Of COURSE she swallows!
I have to agree it makes a lot more sense as Scarlett. She does not believe in monogamy, she has a distinctive voice and a distinctive boyfriend in Josh Hartnett. Dammit…
Picturing Yeah Cum in that cigarette voice while staring at her melons…
So, if they refer to her as “fire crotch”…what will they call her mouth?
scenesfromacar hinted the identity as a big red letter “A”: so either it’s Hester Prynne or Scarlett Johansson. I’m siding with Scarlett.