JESSICA SIMPSON CANT SING

Page Six says that Jessica Simpson had a little trouble at the Kennedy Center Honors on Sunday when she tried to sing “Nine to Five“ in front of Dolly Parton, one of the nights honorees.  Simpson reportedly forgot her lines, was barely audible as she stood on stage holding her stomach and then bolted off in tears.  Those in attendance were so perplexed, they didn't even applaud when the song was over.  Page Six says:

She ran off the stage after she had finished her less-than-stellar performance, and was heard muttering, "Dolly, that made me so nervous," and "You fluster me."   (Jessica) was overheard whispering "so nervous" after wrapping up her shaky rendition.   The fiasco was caught on tape, but CBS will likely edit out the embarrassing episode when it airs the show Dec. 26.   "Jessica was overcome with emotion while performing because she's idolized Dolly her whole life. They wanted the song to be perfect," explained Simpson publicist Cindy Berger.

It seems clear by now that maybe singing just isn't Jessica's thing.  In fact I'm not entirely sure what her thing is.  If you could see a close up of her brain, instead of seeing an owl with glasses reading a book, you'd see a donkey asleep in the mud.  And the donkey has a little hat.  And for a while you might think the donkey is dead but then he yawns and stretches.  And then we see a close up of the donkeys brain, and it's that old Steamboat Willie cartoon.   

Remember in "9 to 5" when they thought they killed their boss.  That was crazy!