And now more randomness from parisexposed.com, this time with 100 percent more penis. It also features the old fat Nicole Richie licking coke off a plate, Paris' fake ID (she was born 2.17.81), Nicole and Paris with Michael Jackson and Paris and Nicky taking the opportunity to pose for fabulous pictures while Nicole is crying her eyes out.
I had to list the pictures, of course, because once you see Cisco Adlers (Mischa Bartons no-talent boyfriend) terrifying nutsack, there’s a 900 percent chance of you throwing your computer out the window. And you should too. It will pretty much be ruined. Personally I looked at my computer like in the movies where the cop who cracked the case gets shot by his by-the-book police chief. A look of confused betrayal. Then I smashed it with a bat while screaming “why” and “I trusted you”. Harsh? Maybe. But the computer did start it.
WARNING - the first picture is very very very NSFW.
First!!!!
Saw this at Dlisted too, but you’ve got more detail, and better humor, of course.
um i clicked the first picture without reading anything…wow ill never do that again
There is no god.
Daaaaaaaaaaaamn his nuts are low.
He was clearly tortured in one of those medieval torture racks. No way balls get stretched like that!
do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow?
Seriously, what the FUCK. Everything pictured here is like it’s straight out of a bad (read: every other) David Lynch film. A talentless nobody with some deformed testicles posing for god-knows-what in his socks, then two diseased tramp sisters and their 45-pound coke-head harpie sitting next to Michael Jackson and an old Asian dude with breathing tubes crammed up his nose. Honest to god, I have no idea what to make of any of this.
DANGER: MAJOR TOTALLY-HUGE RISK OF STEPPING ON HIS OWN BALLS!!! So dangerous!!! so frightening!!!
cisco adler’s balls reside in another zip code.
The third picture is totally surreal.
Seriously. What is up with the dude on Oxygen in the MJ pic? This world is crumbling, quickly.
can somebody tell me who the hell is the old guy next to Michael Jackson???? was this taken in a home? perhaps after Jackson finish his weekly “reading for the old asians” charity work!! or maybe he is just Nicole Richie’s real father!! she does look a bit asian!!
Am I the only one who has lost all hope for humanity after seeing this crap?
Cisco’s lawyers are quick…that pic got dropped fast.
Actually, Huge Taco Man, my hope is higher than ever… this pictures represent the lowest point in humanity, it can only go up from here.
I don’t understand what the big deal is - my friends and i order up big bags of high-grade bolivian powdered sugar all the time. OH the fun we have, passing around the plate and licking up the sweet, sweet nectar. Totally common.
Brendon - all praises due. You are by far the funniest gossip blogger out there…and my blog is just a cheap rip-off of that, so lets not focus on that. BUT, i have started a video blog that i’m kinda proud of - i would be honored if you would check it out (it’s only 3 minutes): http://www.seanodonnellshow.com
“Cisco’s lawyers are quick…that pic got dropped fast.” Thank goodness, I am too innocent to be exposed to that kind of stuff. Unless he was teabagging Paris of course.
glad i missed it