SHILOH JOLIE WAS AN ACCIDENT

Angelina Jolie tells ElleUK that she never planned on getting pregnant and starting a family with Brad Pitt.  Basically, it was an accident.  Hello Magazine says:

"I wasn't planning on getting pregnant.  I'm the one that got knocked up.  Some men have kids when they're not ready and some men know they want to take it seriously and wait until they're absolutely ready.  You could say Brad changed me."

And there's more good news for Shiloh.  Not only was she an accident, but her mom loves her less than her two adopted siblings:

"I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they're survivors, they came through so much.  Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I'm conscious that I have to make sure I don't ignore her needs, just because I think the others are more vulnerable."

"More vulnerable"?  What the hell is she talking about?  The only thing Maddox is vulnerable to is getting laid at 13.  In a recent survey of 13-year-olds who were me, 100 percent of the people who responded said "voom voom" as they played with a toy light saber.  Yeah, this kids got problems all right.  Like me and me steely blue eyes,  they're so blue women get swept away and can't contain their passion.  Also my penis is so big I have to wear special pants and can't ride a bike.  Oh woe is me!