I don't know what his secret is, but Jessica Alba seems almost charmed by the fact that this guy has an erection while staring at her in a bikini. Like she's flattered. Oh, sure, but hide in the back seat of her car with an erection and she gets totally stuck up. Well la-di-da your majesty. Although I think my sexy moves were starting to warm her icy heart until the cops had to show up and cock-block, bossin me around, sayin "put your pants on, son" and "you better get a mop and clean that up".
I need to stop looking at these photos at work. JEEZ.
Fair enough he’s only human but still…. Dude, no.
Well, I guess you can’t really blame him.
After those “Glowing Britney” pics from yesterday, I might be chubbin’ up too.
To be fair to the dude I would be pitching a circus marquee in boardies all holiday long
At least get into a situation where sex is inevitable before showing her you’ve got a small penis. Now the guy has no chance of getting his dick wet. On another note… Is that a cameltoe i see in photo 1? Also the 5th photo is as close to physical perfection as you’ll ever see, maybe a little on the skinny side but it’ll do.
The creepy kid in pic #6 has the same look on his face that I do.
Call me creazy but could that be Cash Warren (jessica’s bizarre looking boyfriend)? They were in South Beach this weekend, bastard tried to steal my nachos at San Loco, true story. Get your own boner boy!
The kid in Pic #6 is smiling because he’s got those mad-cool underwater goggles, so he can go underwater and stare at her ass for as long as she’s got it in there. On another note, how great is it to be a celebrity, spend like every f**king day at the beach and still be rich? Now THAT’S livin,’ my friends.
Maybe he farted and his pants are ballooned?
Warren Cash looked a lot fatter than that guy last time i saw him. However, if it is him then it proves my theory wrong that he must be hung like a yak. Must be the money then.
By the way Elisa.. I was there too and i saw the whole thing. Cash Warren’s such a bastard. I was gonna say somethin but didn’t wanna cause a scene.
take note blow-han, that is what ass in a bikini is supposed to look like.
Is she smiling or laughing? “Boy, that looks like a penis, only smaller.” ba-dum.
Doesn’t match the back view of Jessica Biel from the other day though. Seriously, i need to get me a girl called Jessica. Statistically she’s got to be smokin based on this evidence.
Jessica Lange for example…
I can imagine the paparazzi that took these pictures went back to his pad and beat off to them for a few days before turning them over to the public. If you look close, you can see little goo stains hidden within the waves of the ocean. Oh wait nevermind, I just noticed they’re leaking down my monitor. Oops :)
the circus fleas asked you to make a larger tent sir, they can’t work in those cramped conditions
Cash prolly is a lot fatter when he’s not lying down, Doctor. Anyway, yes, Alba’s lovely but I’d say Scarlett is closer to perfection. But it would be fun to start off as Alba and eat my way up to Scarlett’s curves. There’d be a few lovely indulgent meals involved in that task, eh?
under boob in the pic 2