No one asked, but Fergie wants to set the record straight that she and her boyfriend Josh Duhamel are not engaged and not expecting to start a family. Fergie says:
"I've heard that I've been engaged probably about seven times, and pregnant, but I've never been either. Sorry to disappoint."
Actually that is kind of disappointing. Fergie has had so much plastic surgery she looks like a damn totem pole now and it would be fun to see what a kid looks like with her natural features. She could give birth to a cartoon cat and it wouldn't be surprising in the least. Even if it is human, all that meth Fergie has done should pay off nicely. The baby will arrive and the nurse in the delivery room will stumble backwards, knock over a cart and say "Santa Maria! Es El Diablo!" as she makes the sign of the cross and the doctor yells, "Nurse, get a hold of yourself!"
Seriously though, Josh is gay, right.
That picture freakin’ kills me!
fuggity fug!
It’s completely inappropriate to call him gay. I believe the correct term is “xenophile”.
seriously though… i am the best.
And suddenly, my cubicle started smelling like pee…
She looks like she just squeezed out a load in her pants–although with her reputation for public bodily functions that doesn’t surprise me.
“sorry to disappoint.” Jeez, that could apply to your looks, your career, anything, Fergie. But I guess since these are ALL disappointing, that’s a pretty good blanket apology for existing.
It was funnier the first time with no commentary…I give our friend credit for his thesis, though, which is clearly proven by that horrible BenJen hobbit (please DON”T rerun a picture of that little troll baby) …And I almost forgot–has anyone noticed the sexual tension between Austin/Paris & Bryce? Bryce bail dude…Sean’s going to be pissed when he finds out.
F-U-G-G-L-Y-LISCOUS DEFINITION,
Any thing that would come out of that vagina would look AT BEST like ET (minus the hat).
Perhaps the reason they haven’t married or procreated is because Fergie’s a dude. Duh.
My feeling is that if she was to have a child it would probably look something like this: http://www.i-pets.com/blog/hairless_cat.jpg. Immediately after child birth a hundred other babies would have to be sacrificed in the name of the rumbling volcano and locusts would begin taking over the land. My balls would shrivel and the human race would stop existing as we know it. It would definitely be a hard knock life from then on.
And here’s what Fergie would look like after child birth:
http://www.everwonder.com/david/thegrinch/28.jpg
Here is what Fergie is probably eating right now: http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/group/SticeLAB/Appetizing/tacos.jpg
I think she must have some meth still in her. How else can you explain Josh still being with her? She is batting above her average. Although saying that, her average would include roadkill, farm animals, and Austin.
i seriously hope bryce has enough sense not to let Austin/Paris snort coke off his bare chest
Please do not use the Fergie/ET picture anymore. It is such an instant classic, I dont want it to become overexposed.
hey it even sounds like some sort of hint: Austin/Paris ~ Austin Powers
brendan, as a loyal reader since the days you wrote for other blogs, i would like to request a moratorium on fergie face pictures. in the future, if you are posting a picture of fergie and must include a picture, please attach a photo of her from the fake breasts down. and not the one where she peed herself, another one. thank you.
that should read “if you are writing a post of fergie and must include a picture…”; not that anyone cares.