JORDAN BRATMAN IS A SORCERER

By brendon February 07, 2007 @ 3:41 PM

Christina Aguilera says she has no problem walking around the house naked when home alone with husband Jordan Bratman.  In fact, they even have an entire day devoted to it.  CNN says:

"We claim ourselves to be the coziest couple ever. We have something called 'naked Sundays,' " Aguilera tells Ellen DeGeneres in an interview set to air Wednesday … “You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up," says Aguilera. So the couple stays in on Sundays, she says. "We do everything naked. We cook naked."  "You cook naked?" asks DeGeneres.  Aguilera replies: "Yeah, we cook naked."  "Nothing with grease — that could splatter," says DeGeneres.  "Well, unless you want the grease," Aguilera replies.

I would normally make fun of Jordan Bratman here and point out how amazingly out of his league he is, but he's clearly some kind of wizard, since that's the only rational explanation for him punching this kind of kitty.  And also because one time I tried to shoot him because I was jealous but when I whipped my gun out he turned it into a bouquet of flowers.  And then he turned me into a little piggy.  True story!



wwtdd

(72) Comments

  1. avatar
    slip 02/07/2007 16:25

    damn i am good

  2. avatar
    fartknocker 02/07/2007 16:27

    “Who are you?”
    “I’m Bratman!”

  3. avatar
    slip 02/07/2007 16:27

    i guess i should add that she is still hot as hell. talent and hottness together. nice.

  4. avatar
    TheUnoriginalJamesWankerPerson 02/07/2007 16:30

    566 346 7503 373rd!

  5. avatar
    El Fucko Face o 02/07/2007 16:32

    Good for them. She is a great example of how to be a celebrity and not fuck it all up. Also one of the few women to escape my underground sex dungeon and not report me. A+

  6. avatar
    Tennessee Tuxedo 02/07/2007 16:33

    Xtina is bring sexy back to marriage. For now. The over/under until she starts f*cking rappers again is 2 years.

  7. avatar
    02/07/2007 16:37

    lol fartknocker. Oh man, It would even be cool to just be Bratman’s friend. That way you could invite yourself over to watch the game every Sunday.

  8. avatar
    Piglet 02/07/2007 16:42

    I betcha Christina doesn’t have a problem with golden showers.

  9. avatar
    Frank02 02/07/2007 16:44

    Jesus Herbert Walker Christ! That is one goofy looking dude. His head looks like a Honda element driving down the street with its doors open. That being said, this man is a hero. If he wrote a book, I would be first in line to buy it.

  10. avatar
    Narrator 02/07/2007 16:45

    She is very attractive, but it’s hard to tell under the 1 inch layer of makeup in these pictures.

  11. avatar
    Gavrilo 02/07/2007 16:53

    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. No wait, that’s #2. The greatest was getting Christina nekkid.

  12. avatar
    elvis 02/07/2007 16:53

    Awesome, I like that idea, and im going to start doing it. Naked Sundays!

  13. avatar
    Gavrilo 02/07/2007 16:54

    PS I like Naked Sundaes, except when I spill ice cream on my dong. Me!

  14. avatar
    Dorian 02/07/2007 16:55

    Xtina is, well, she’s just the ultimate fuck, as far as I’m concerned. Bratman is just one lucky, rich fuck who filled “a void”, if you will, when Xtina was floundering around trying to make sense out of life. She’ll realize that, “hey, this guy’s not in my league. shit, he’s not even in the same stadium playing the same game.” Hope she’s smart enough not to end up like Britney. On a different note, I’d put a little bit of cocaine on the tip of my penis so it would stay hard. And then i’d fuck Xtina for as long as the Ecstacy in my bloodstream would allow me. She ALWAYS looks horny. And i bet she probably is. Sigh….

  15. avatar
    Anthony 02/07/2007 16:58

    The lucky bastard could at least try to look cool and she’s like some kind of antibritney; she just gets better. Not too sure about naked Sundays. I’d prefer porno nurse Sundays. She looks x-rated in that outfit. Sings in a dancehall reggae stylee: “A bit of x-rated, you know you get me excited…”

  16. avatar
    Huge Taco Man 02/07/2007 17:07

    He’s lucky AND smart, unlike KFed this guy will keep shoving birth control down his wife’s throat.

  17. avatar
    Jim 02/07/2007 17:08

    She is sexy as all get out. Way to go…..Jordan Bratman. Whatever.

  18. avatar
    Concietta 02/07/2007 17:08

    Does this idiot EVER talk about anything besides sex anymore????

  19. avatar
    Tennessee Tuxedo 02/07/2007 17:14

    A wonder if schmegma on pancakes is an aquired taste?

  20. avatar
    Guy 02/07/2007 17:16

    she’s clearly married to sylar from heroes.

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