STALLONE RAIDED BY CUSTOMS

Sylvester Stallone is under investigation by Customs officials in Sydney, Australia after "prohibited" substances – believed to be a type of human growth hormone – were found in his luggage at the Sydney airport.   When Customs officials went to Stallone's hotel to issue him with a summons, members of Stallone's entourage were seen throwing items out of the window.  Later, his private jet was searched as well.  For now, Stallone is not being detained or charged with any crime.   A customs official said:

"There is a range of options we can pursue in these circumstances.  The investigation is ongoing and we are aware of Mr. Stallone's travel movements.  The material has to be identified and we have to look at all the options and the evidence before deciding what action to take."

Items were first detected during a routine X-ray of luggage when Stallone arrived in Sydney on Friday, but he seemed unconcerned at a press conference to promote "Rocky Balboa".

"I do know (why I was stopped) but I can't tell you.  To (Customs) it's major, but it's really minor stuff.   I just made a mistake … I misunderstood a few things and we are going through the process."

Wow.  It's the perfect crime.  Stallones plan of throwing stuff out the window seems to be based on none of the cops glancing down.  He'll conduct the entire interview while waving his hands above his head and holding sparklers.  Then hire some topless chicks to hang out on the first floor balcony, whistling at the cops and saying how they better rub some coconut oil on their big  firm breasts before they get too burned from all this sun.  "Can you help me Kelly … oooh, that's right, in circles just like that …"  Either that or Stallone thinks he's in outer space, and stuff just burns up as it falls towards earth.  He could accidentally kill a hooker and get away with it easier than this.  You could throw her out the window and at least claim the hooker slipped after dancing on the railing, but you can't say the steroids jumped because they thought they could fly.  The only way he could look any more guilty is if he blew up the hotel.