ANGELINA JOLIE IS BETTER

Casey Johnson – the New York socialite whose grandfather founded Johnson & Johnson – says she is in the process of adopting a baby girl from Kazakhstan ("is nice") because she wasn't able to adopt a baby from Cambodia.  And she feels Angelina Jolie is to blame.  Page Six says:

"I went to Cambodia almost two years ago [and] fell in love with this little girl, a 21/2-year-old named Lavissa," Johnson says.  But then she got the bad news that an adoption wasn't possible because of tight new adoption laws: "I was devastated because I had bonded for three weeks with this child. I was buying her clothes in Cambodia. I was videoing her. I was doing everything."  In 2001, Jolie adopted her first child, Maddox, from Cambodia with then-husband Billy Bob Thornton, but the Third World nation later cut off adoptions by foreigners amid accusations by child-welfare advocates of corrupt, babies-for-cash scams.

Casey and Page Six may indirectly blame Angelina, but my spies tell me that the reason Johnson wasn't able to adopt and Angelina was is because her lips aren’t pouty and kissable, and her breasts aren’t smooth and supple.  "They're not supple at all", said a source I just made up.  (slow day?  why yes, yes it is.  and so we're down to this.  but who gives a shit since there's an uhq of that old but awesome angelina picture here.  look – tits!)