Lindsay Lohan is back from New York and was seen having lunch at the Ivy yesterday, and in a move that was not staged at all, the book 'God's Promises For Your Every Need' was face up on the front seat of her convertible. The book is said to be filled with wise and comforting Bible passages for every occasion. Note that she also has a pair of gold handcuffs on her rear view mirror. Because what awaits each one of us in Heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest and gold handcuffs so you can bind your lover while you whip her on the ass and force her to drink out of the toilet.
lol
I’d definitely fuck her.
Kim Kardashian’s vagina is disgustingly tremendous.
your honor, I would like to point out that neither the book, nor the handcuffs can be proven to be the property of my lil cutie LiLo. in fact, I would not put it past those filthy paparazzi to have tossed either or both of those items into my dream sweetie’s car just to frame her.
in a related story, Britney Spears was spotted driving in LA. On the front seat of her car were 2 books (Fodor’s Guide to Rehab and Ulysses by James Joyce) and dangling from her rear-view mirror were her two children.
Paris Hilton was also spotted driving in LA yesterday but before I could see what SHE had in her car, she was pulled over by the cops and arrested.
Crash. Die. Get buried. Worms.
Carlos Mencia was spotted driving in LA yesterday and he had a copy of “God’s Agreements for Your Every Wish” and a pair of silver handcuffs on his rear view mirror.
what does this mean?
Rosie O’Donnell was spotted driving in LA yesterday, but on second glance it was just some fat guy in a garbage truck. (i got a million of ‘em)
Lindsay Lohan is spotted everyday.
That must have been one desperate Paparazzi to actually get in front of her car to take that picture.
+1 Victell
Goddamn, what a slow day.
First page of the LILO version is, “I NEED A STIFF COCK 7 days a week 24 hrs a day, and a STIFF DRINK.” By the way I think that is Britneys version too……
Why hasn’t Tom Cruise swooped in to help this poor theatan deficient girl?
Ephesians 5:18 “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” Lilo interpretation: Drink Red Bull + Vodka = Filled with the Spirit.
Spirit also happens to be my wang’s nickname.
LiLo publicity stunt for next week: Become a nun.
and they’re not wearing seatbelts. Brandy, the world needs you.
I’m kinda bored of her now. The only way Lohan could be entertaining to me is if i hit her in the face with a bat thus shattering those fucking ridiculous glasses into her eyes then watch her scrabble around to find her “God’s Promises” for advise on what to do next….Yeh, pretty much that.