I'm sure everyone is busy cleaning the house and getting ready for tonight to celebrate the birthday of the most beautiful woman in the world, Kirsten Dunst! But hold on, because it's also the anniversary of the day Hitler shot himself, and now that reincarnation is a proven fact, I think it's obvious what this means and I think everyone in Hollywood needs to know the truth: Kirsten Dunst hates the Jews. I was surprised too but the numbers just don't lie. She hates them and she wants to re-open the camps and fire up the ovens. I, on the other hand, have always admired how they run the banking industry and Hollywood, and one time I even saw a movie that I think co-starred Amy Irving. Wait … okay, no it didn't. Never mind.
Fun Fact: Kirsten told W magazine that when she gets older she'll have her pick of the hot young boys because of her sexy turn as Mary Jane in Spider-Man! Look out fellas, Kristen's on the prowl, and she's disgusting!