ONLY TOM CRUISE CAN SAVE US

At least 33 people are now dead and another two dozen wounded after a lone shooter walked the campus of Virginia Tech yesterday, killing indiscriminately.  In the wake of such tragedy, people always wonder what steps could have been taken to prevent it.  Luckily for us, Hollywood's favorite cult Scientology has it all figured out.  Whew!  Calling themselves the CCHR (the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, which is a front Scientology uses to disseminate Scientology propaganda, much like how they called themselves National Mental Health Assistance to trick the Red Cross into working with them after 9/11) they issued this press release yesterday:

28 Dead and 62 Wounded in Recent Drug-Induced School Shootings Today's shooting rampage at Virginia Tech is being called the deadliest school shooting incident in U.S. history, with initial reports citing 32 dead and 29 wounded in the bloodiest school massacre since Columbine. The Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR), a mental health watchdog that initially discovered the psychiatric drug connection in the Columbine shootings, says media and law enforcement must move quickly to investigate the Virginia shooter's psychiatric drug history — a common factor amongst school shooters… For more information, contact [FLAME] the Citizens Commission on Human Rights at 800-869-2247 or email humanrights@cchr.org.

Someone more reprehensible was unavailable for comment, due to the fact that they don’t exist.