PAULA ABDUL IS A GIFT

Humility is always endearing, so take whatever words mean the exact opposite of "humility" and "endearing" and put that in front of this Paula Abdul quote:

"I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am."

That's just one of the gems from Paulas new reality show, set to air on Bravo later this month.  The Daily News says:

In the first episode, set to air June 28, the "American Idol" judge appears addled after the 2007 Grammy Awards. She stumbles on the street and giggles in the back of her limo ("I crack myself up!") before her mood darkens and she berates two assistants for not bringing her sweat pants to change into for a flight.The encounter reveals a needy celebrity who, in the lap of pampering, constantly believes herself to be mistreated by those around her. "The way I've been treated is [like] a piece of dog s—," she complains in another typical outburst.She also clashes with QVC executives and flummoxes her long-suffering PR rep, Jeff Ballard, one of three she has fired or been fired by this year.

There must be two Paula Abduls.  There's the one mentioned in this story, the one who is a gift to all of us and who can point to the sky, part the clouds and make a golden city appear, and then there's the one on "American Idol", the one who is typically drunk or high or drunk and high and whose only contribution to the biggest show on television is not falling down.