I don't know what the hell happened to the MTV Awards. You used to be able to count on them to see hot chicks almost naked (or mostly naked, in the case of Rose McGowan). Now the big stars seem to think they're too good to parade around in broad daylight while I stare at their tits. Well la-di-da your highness, we're all impressed. Jessica Alba is dressed like my mom, only with way more sexual tension, so thanks a lot for freaking me the fuck out Jessica. All Megan Fox showed off was her dumb tattoo. A swastika would look better than this. At least I know what the hell that's supposed to mean. Jessica Biel seemed to think she was going to Olive Garden. And Rihanna looked hot but the haircut that was supposed to hide her big forehead only made it more obvious. Way way more obvious. Her hairdresser must have thought that cat with a lime on its head was hot (this little guy). Her hairdresser should be arrested immediately.