BRITNEY SPEARS CRAVES PRIVACY

Britney Spears is about as subtle as an alarm clock that punches you in the balls.  Late yesterday, god love her, she pretty much pulled over on the side of the road in Malibu, stripped down to her bra and panties, then ran in and out of the ocean.  And really, why wouldn't she?  I guess she's lost a little more weight and felt like showing it off, because she looks pretty good.  For her, at least.  Not real world good, but that scale hasn't applied to Britney in at least two years.  Saying she looks good is like patting a retard on his mis-shapen head and saying his finger painting of a doggy is good.  It's not really good, but it's good for someone who ate all the brushes.  Britney isn't actually hot, but she's hot considering she also ate all the brushes.  You could stand on Sunset for three minutes and find ten girls hotter than she is.  Come to think of it, you could look in the trunk of my car right now and find two chicks hotter than she is.  Oh, jeez, that reminds me…