Britney Spears wrote a letter to X17 Online, the paparazzi agency who was so famously attacked by Britney with an umbrella the night after she shaved her head and just before her stint in rehab (relive the magic here). Britney says:
Dear x17,
I want to apologize for the past incedent with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places. Unfortunatly I didn't get the part. I'm sorry I got alil carried away with my role!
Britney
I don't even get what this is supposed to be. Is it a joke? If so, I clearly don’t have a sophisticated enough sense of humor to get it. A more likely scenario is that this retard has convinced herself that's what really happened. It's the upside of being really dumb. You forget lots of stuff and then you can just make shit up. "I wuz doin a movie, about a beautiful princess, um, named Britney, yeah, an everybody loved her, an BitBit wuz there, and the lion from Narnia wuz there, and Jesus wuz there, and they all said, 'Britney, yur doin so goood!' An I said, 'well thank you you guys, I think yur doin good too!' And then they said they luved me. An I wuz all like, aww, you guys!"
wow. I'd by 10, maybe even 15 dollars to go see the movie she is talking about!
She's a dazzling speller and her handwriting is lovely.
That pic never gets old.
It's a sad, sad commentary on our culture that girls like Britney are (were) idolized by teen girls…she is a vacuous, inbred dolt.
Stay in school and off the stage, kids, or you'll end up like this.
At least she has conscious recollection of this incident.
Wow, this bitch is crazy and doesn't even care anymore. I'm not sure if she's so deluded that she thinks this is plausible or if she's just messin' wit dem foolz over at X17? I say deluded and crazy.
My favorite part is that she thinks "alil" is a word. Dumbass.
She is a fabuloulsy wealthy example of American womanhood. Any wonder some foreigners are perpelxed?
Brit has a famously 'strange' sense of humor as a result of 10 years of people sucking her ass. As a result she thinks that everything she does is comedy gold. And everyone not on her payroll thinks she is a dumb fucking bitch.
So Britney got a little mixed up! What she meant to say was "I was preparing for a role in this movie about some middle-class guys who go on a camping trip down south. I play a girl who sits and plays a banjo." Or maybe "there's this movie I am gonna be in about a mentally challenged girl–that's me–who kills people with a garden tool, I think it's called a sling-blade." Or perhaps "I'm gonna be in this movie where I play this girl who sits on a park bench and says Life is like a box of chawklits…mmm, chawklit…"
Or based on her shaved head and intense look, she was going for the Marlon Brando role in the remake of Apocalypse Now, to be called Redneck Apocalypse or Revenge of the Cheatin' Rapper's Hillbilly Wife.
Or, based on her weapon of choice (an umbrella) she was practicing for the lead role in Mary Poppins II–Revenge of the Psycho Flying Nanny.
I hope you all appreciate this comedy gold I’m dishing out: it’s my day off so I’m not even getting paid for “working” while I’m doing this.
You are so right, Savorygirl. It's truly a shame little girls idolize her and want to be like her, even at her alleged "hottest" time, rather than, say, the Westinghouse scholarship winner.
Love it, Juan.
This was all in the cards for poor Britney. She's white trash from louisiana and she's now showing her true colors. Justin Timberlakes smart ass kept her in line for as long as he could and KFuck brought her right back to her roots. To be honest its all hilarious to me.
I can't wait to see this used in court.
"No, your honor, kicking my grandmother down the stairs wasn't murder. I was working out a character for a role in a movie, being a blind soccer player. I closed my eyes, felt something round, and kicked. How was I supposed to know it was my grandmother's head?"
If it's used in California, the defendant will probably get off, too.
Brad - by "perplexed" you mean "full of hate"?
She is a completely lost cause. Take her out back and put her out of our misery.