07.03.2007 SCARLETT JOHANSSON IS … UMM …

The real Scarlett Johansson needs to find this fake Scarlett Johansson and give her a brutal karate attack for impersonating her.  Because I like to pretend the real Scarlett Johansson doesn't have a giant ass and a dumb tattoo and an alarming gut.  And the real one doesn't dress like a mom out camping.  Her outfit couldn't be any less flattering.  But then again my suits always combine flair with function and thats one reason I'm such a devil with the ladies.

6 photos in gallery >

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109 Comments

(109) Comments

  1. Tennessee Tuxedo 07/03/2007 12:02

    What's the point? The comments are just going to turn into a thesaurus for "Id hit it". 

    And who is the homosexual designer behind the high-waist-shorts-for-the-ladies fad? 

  2. Seven 07/03/2007 12:29

    I'd hit it.

  3. Da_Captain 07/03/2007 12:30

    Ugly pig nose ring too

  4. amarkonthedoor 07/03/2007 12:30

    Does she have her septum pierced? Gross.

  5. Boba Fett 07/03/2007 12:31

    I'd hit it.

  6. ScrewBall 07/03/2007 12:31

    This is probably Karma for the Kelly Clarkson digs, dude.  ;-)

  7. Robert_Paulson 07/03/2007 12:32

    The ring has to go. 

  8. Blatherskite 07/03/2007 12:32

    She looks like a Kelly Clarkson version of Laura Croft..with a bazooka Joe tattoo. (I still love you Scarlett, please don't leave me.)

  9. N-Barley 07/03/2007 12:35

    I would kill to hit that. (even kids)

  10. Robert_Paulson 07/03/2007 12:35

    Pic 6 shows that like all couples, They start looking like each other. I am sorry Scarlett has to date some dumpy dude with baggy shorts, 20 extra pounds, and inappropriate piercings and tattoos.

  11. wingnut 07/03/2007 12:35

    First time you've got it wrong in years… I'd hit it.

  12. Quinlan 07/03/2007 12:40

    I'd tapp Scarlett Johannson ass like Fred Astair, Sammy Davis Jr. and Gregory Hines in a Bollywood Movie!

  13. Magnums are #1 07/03/2007 12:41

    I think that tat on her arm could be a merit badge, since she is in her scout uniform and all!  I would so give her my knot tying merit badge to hit it.

  14. Lothar of the Hill People 07/03/2007 12:41

    Since when did Scarlett Johansson have a pierced septum? That's a painful, goofy, stupid thing for an A-list actress to do. Unless she'll soon be pulling down $10 million to play a dumpy barista in some goofy movie.

  15. Sarcasto 07/03/2007 12:42

    She needs to replace that septum ring with a bone and complimented it with a couple of plates in her lips.  Dr. Livingston I presume?

    Can you say ba-donka donk??

  16. Sarcasto 07/03/2007 12:43

    She needs to replace that septum ring with a bone and complimented it with a couple of plates in her lips.  Dr. Livingston I presume?

    Can you say ba-donka donk??

  17. Perry 07/03/2007 12:43

    I wonder if she got her hood pierced.

  18. Sarcasto 07/03/2007 12:43

    My comment was so great that I just had to post it twice for emphasis!

  19. Lightdragon 07/03/2007 12:43

    I`d hit it.

  20. Apollyon 07/03/2007 12:43

    Is it me or is she startint to morph into Pink?

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