August 22, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Hayden Panettiere spent her 18th birthday yesterday at Declare Yourself registering to vote, and if that wasn't hot enough, she also got fondled by some mummy who would explode into a pile of dust if you poked him.  I hope no little hussy tries this crap with me when I'm that old.  I assume I'll be so out of it I won't even know what my penis is for.  I'll get a hard-on and it will scare the hell of me, like showing a caveman a mirror, then I'll chop my penis off and burn it.  In summation, this old guy is almost definitely dead today, so way to go there Hayden.  Whore.

Tags: hayden panettiere

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