Alternate caption: British people dress stupid.
Tri-nipular singer Lily Allen, who already holds a special place in my heart for being able to pronounce the word "twat" in such a way that it rhymes with "cat", further endeared herself by getting so butthoused that she thought it'd be a great idea to have her friends carry her around in a giant shopping bag. You know, to avoid paparazzi.
British people are so polite. I always hope my friends are going to carry me around like that after I get hammered, but usually I just wake up smelling like balls with "fartknocker" written on my eyelids in sharpie.
Also, I think her stylist has Down Syndrome. Or her stylist thinks Lily has Down Syndrome. One of the two.
bless her little mockney heart
w00t! first!
I always knew this bint was going to end up as a bag lady.
Attention customers…all Lily Allens are now half-off in the liquor aisle.
Twat DOES rhyme with cat. How the hell do you pronounce it?
WHO?!?
Her drug induced idea is awesome. Like the time I heard my firend say, "hey, if like..we put skates on cats, they can like..have cat races!"
Twat DOES rhyme with cat. How the hell do you pronounce it?
In the states, twat rhymes with dot. Though I enjoy the English pronunciation so much I may convert.
"The States"
La dee da, Lance. You make us sound so fancy. Ima convert to that.
"Hey you! Where are you from?"
(as I hold my monocle) "The States"
She's the UK equivalent to Lindsay Lohan at the moment. BTW, here's a little tidbit from Rolling Stone:
“I was doing things with boys that I shouldn’t have been doing at such a young age,” she says. “I was doing blow-jobs … I don’t want to go into it. It was not good.”
So I'll give her credit - blowjobs at such a young age. At least those kids with Down Syndrome have something to shoot for.
La dee da, Lance. You make us sound so fancy. Ima convert to that.
I thought it was less grandiose and more accurate than "America". But I guess I could have gone with "the U.S.".
Oooo, fartknocker on the eyelids. That's a good one. Dude, for years I have been running with the shave the eyebrow and draw one back on in sharpie. The eyelids.
(Please refer to The Law of the Rolling Stones. When you're in a band, you're not required to grow up at all - it's awesome!)
Hello, British Lily enablers! Ship that ass over here–we have miles and miles of desert. Ever seen Casino?
That is a funny fucking post Brend0n… kudos
(Please refer to The Law of the Rolling Stones. When you're in a band, you're not required to grow up at all - it's awesome!)
We bloggers have similar rules. We don't have to grow up; we don't even have to wear pants.
Oh well now you're just teasing me. Apparently you're not aware of how little it takes to rev up a cyborg.
I often have my friends bag me to remove me from places where I am having a bit too much fun. Although they never leave me anywhere convenient–next time, can you drop me somewhere farther away from Britney's dirty underwear drawer?
Watch out, gotdang. Around these parts, girls get pregnant approximately 3 1/2 days after losing their jobs……..no, wait. They also have to have a live-in boyfriend who lost his job 2 1/2 years ago. My Bad. (I hope)
I sometimes have to carry young women around in bags too, and by carry i mean dispose of and by young women i mean dead hookers.
Oh you people and your ethnocentric lack of knowledge about cyborgs. The females do not procreate in the same way as human women. We're merely replicated ex-utero and injected with our parents' mercurial cells. We were smart enough to circumvent the whole stretch mark thing. To see what we look like as young'uns, I had my little sister sign up at filmdrunk. She's still morphing, so her avatar pic shows our early development stage. Y'all don't pick on her for not being as pretty as me. She'll get there. Duh, she has the same mercury cells!
And around these parts, as in, my fun zone, there's no such thing as an unemployed live-in boyfriend.
I'm suddenly reminded of the Dionne Warwick song "That's What Friends Are For"