THE CHUPACABRA SERVED 82 MINUTES IN JAIL

On December 11th of last year, Nicole Richie was arrested after driving the wrong way down the Burbank Freeway.  When sheriffs deputies found her, she was  parked on the freeway, talking on her cell phone.  When questioned, she admitted she was high on vicodin and had been smoking marijuana.  This was not her first DUI.  In 2002, she was arrested for driving 50 miler per hour in a 15 mph zone near UCLA.  She had a .13 blood alcohol level, almost twice the legal limit.  Six months later, she was convicted for possession of heroin and driving on a suspended license.  And yet, when she went to court for her December arrest, she was sentenced to just four days in jail.  Her license was also not suspended for one year, despite the fact that a one year suspension is mandatory for a second DUI.   But apparently the LA County Sheriffs Department thought 4 days was too harsh, so when Nicole turned herself in late Thursday afternoon, she was released just 82 minutes later.  She was in a cell, a private cell, for 35 minutes.  People.com says:

Richie entered the jail in Lynwood, Calif., at 3:15 p.m. for booking, listed at 5'1" and 105 lbs. She was processed into the system and released at 4:37 p.m.

It's kind of inspiring to see the LA county sheriffs department and district attorney say "fuck you" so blatantly.  They have to know everyone is watching these cases to see if they're going to give celebrities preferential treatment, and yet they do it anyway.  They don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, they're determined to not enforce the laws they are entrusted to enforce.  I'm surprised they even made Nicole come down to the jail cell.  They should get a portable cell that comes to the celebrities from now on.  Maybe one of those inflatable things you jump around in.  That's sort of shaped like a cell.  Ooo, be sure to get one with a slide.  And maybe one of those funnel cake carts too.  And a wack -a-mole.  People love wack-a-mole.  But it's still jail, so therefore you're sentenced to feel only "glee".  No "delight", or you're in big trouble.