JAKE GYLLENHAAL MIGHT BE COOL

I always assumed Jake Gyllenhaal was some kind of little baby, and he does stuff that little babies do, like cry when they skin their knee and sleep with stuffed animals, but it turns out he's totally boss and cool, as you can see in this clip where he sort of condones torturing people if that's what it takes to defend the United States.  Obviously it would be awesome if we didn't have to do that sort of thing, but it would also be awesome if we lived in a land of dancing candy canes and butterscotch meadows and it rained gumdrops every day at noon, and we all rode ponies to work at the fun toy party factory. But hey, guess what…