People magazine says it's already pandemonium in Los Angeles this morning, which is not the same as Panda Madness. Panda Madness is when the 2008 pandas are on their way, and the 2007s gotta move. It's Panda Dealin Days. We must be crazy to have pandas at these prices. No, pandemonium results when Britney Spears and her hats are ordered to face Kevin Federline in court for the first time, which will happen today around noon, pacific time.
A judge has ordered the ex-couple to appear for a progress-report hearing in their custody battle.
L.A. Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon will be hearing from various custody experts involved in the case.
For now, Federline retains physical custody of sons Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1. Spears has monitored visitation rights, and with one overnight per week with her children.
The judge is not expected to reinstate the 50-50 custody arrangement that was in place before the judge stripped Spears of custody and allowed only visitation.
"At best, she may get unmonitored visits and more overnight privileges," says family law attorney Scott Weston, who's not involved with either party. "This case is still in the early stages and could go on for months."
This sounds like some phony story cooked up by the liberal media, like when they said I've never been on a date with a girl. Whatever. Several of those prostitutes in Thaliand turned out to be girls, and what about the Jessica Alba doll I made with pillows and horsehair? "Jessica". That's a GIRLS name. See what I mean, these magazines just lie.
Fist to the federline
Fistin Panda's Left and Right
Fist to the 3
Dare I go 4 Fists?
Wow a 5th Fist. You Love me, you really love me hahahahaha
A 6 Fist record in the prime hours
I dare you.
7 Fists deep. I'm thinking of retiring taking up acting on my Fist Laurels
Thanks Guinny. For the record….
I REFUSE TO EVER BE FIRST ON A BRITNEY BOARD AGAIN
UNTIL SHE DOES AN OPEN CROTCH SPREAD IN A PORN MAG, OR A SEX TAPE EQUIVALENT.Did her house burn down because that would be awesome?
Damn. Looks like I'll be doin' B grade Fist movies. It was so close
K-Fed will probably show up in a suit and tie and be all "I'm a legitimate businessman, yo," while Britney will
a) be late
b) have food stains on the front of her shirt
c) not be wearing underwear
d) protest loudly when told she can't smoke in court
e) say "iffen I can't smoke, can you get me a spit cup so I use get me some Skoal?"
Damn Brend0n, can you at least post a photo of someone hot. Brit's nastiness is not the best way for anyone to start the morning. Not the breakfast of champs.
^make that "So ah kin use me some Skoal?"
f) all of the above.
(sigh) This can, and will, only end in tears..
mostly mine from laughing so hard when they decide to take Britney's kids so far away, that they will just have nightmares throughout their life about some popstar they used to have as a babysitter. You know the kind.. the one always on the phone with boys, and eating all the food in the house.. daddy sleeps with them and they magically disappear.
And Juan: She'll also
f) Be chewing on a Slim Jim
g) Have toilet paper stuck on her shoes
h) Have more toilet paper hanging down from her skirt
i) Bring a coke bottle filled with last night's Vodka & cranberry
j) Smell like ass and Newports.
To be on the safe side, Britney, show up in court wearing that bikini. Wink at the judge and say "iffen I get custody of my kids, ah know how to be very friendly, iffen you know what I mean, judge?"
When the judge rules against her, Britney should scream "What? Are you some kinda homer-sexual? Look at this prime womanly flesh in fronta you!"
Then she should storm out saying "Ah didn't want them kids around anyway. They cramp mah style."
Then she signs an "autograph" for a bystander but it's really a check for child support payable to K-Fed.
After she signs the check, she'll get into her car, grab her Provigil and drive off to a beach. There, she jumps out, grabs a Newport and her bottle of Vodka & cranberry and screams "piggy, piggy, piggy, love me ma' piggy" as she takes off her bikini and jumps into the water. A myriad fish die and float to the surface afterward.
i still wish her necklace would stab her in the throat.