10.19.2007 DAVID COPPERFIELD IS A RAPIST OR SOMETHING

Fox News is reporting that a woman in Seattle has pressed charges against wizard David Copperfield, claiming that he raped her.  Fox says:

The woman told Seattle police the magician raped her while she was in the Bahamas, sources said. Because the alleged incident happened abroad and the woman did not report it until she returned to the United States, Seattle authorities turned over the case to the FBI.
On Thursday, FBI officials raided a Las Vegas warehouse used by Copperfield. Seattle FBI agent Robbie Burroughs said Thursday the case was related to one in Washington.
"The investigation is related to a Seattle case. The Seattle case is pending and that means we can't say anything about it," Burroughs said.
Copperfield's Las Vegas attorney, David Chesnoff, refused to give specifics about the charge. "If in fact those are the allegations, unfortunately false allegations are all too often made against famous individuals," Chesnoff said. "But we are confident the investigation will conclude favorably."

And Extra is reporting that Copperfields Las Vegas warehouse has been searched and the FBI confiscated a computer hard drive, a memory chip from his digital camera and almost 2 million dollars in cash.  Extra also said … wait, the FBI can do that?  They can just take your cash if you're accused of a crime?  What on earth does his cash have to do with an accused rape?  I don't think rape is even illegal in the Bahamas.  In fact I think that's the motto on their license plates.  Between all the drunken tourists and potent weed, that place is a forced-penetration powder keg.  And do we have to call it rape?  That's such an judgmental word.  Why not "an unexpected penis surplus"?

(yeah i dont have as many david copperfield banner pictures as you might think)



(103) Comments

  1. MG Admirer 10/19/2007 13:14

    FIST - QUIET NEWS DAY

  2. MG Admirer 10/19/2007 13:16

    QUIET NEWS DAY…

     

    1.  Britney's album stil hasn't launched

    2.  Lindsay Lohan did nothing.

    3.  etc.   yawn….

  3. awwkitten 10/19/2007 13:19

    "unexpected penis surplus"

    fucking.classic.

  4. MG Admirer 10/19/2007 13:19

    let's see - David Copperfield is mucho rich and canget just about any tail he wants - free - or for a price.

    And he raped her?  Doubtful.  And if it was rape, perhaps hypnosis was involved.  Or a trapdoor. 

  5. maddona_kebabsoff 10/19/2007 13:20

    boring

  6. MG Admirer 10/19/2007 13:20

    My wife sometimes wakes up with an unexpected penis surplus in the middle of the night.   It's not surplus for long, however.

  7. Spirit of the Son of Bill Brasky 10/19/2007 13:21

    It wasn't rape.  It was magic.

  8. pepper 10/19/2007 13:21

    David Chesnoff.. What kind of a name is that?

    I guess is better then David Chinnuts 

  9. Topper (Harry) Harley 10/19/2007 13:23

    David Copperfield's rape threats:

    • Do me or I'll saw you in half!
    • If I can make the Statue of Liberty disappear, I can do it to you. Start sucking!
    • Spread em or I'll take you to a David Blaine show!
  10. tangocash0001 10/19/2007 13:23

    he probably invited her back to his house, locked the door, and said "Abracadabra, my dick is up your ass"

  11. gotdang 10/19/2007 13:25

    Ladies, we have to be on guard against that …wait….did I hear the word "penis"?  Sweet!!

     

    HOT PENIS ACTION! 

  12. Willie Beamin 10/19/2007 13:25

    Just make that woman disappear

     

     

  13. mephistopheles jefferson 10/19/2007 13:25

    Basically every funny idea I was going to write had its thunder stolen by SoSoBB.  For a dead guy you sure can crack 'em.

  14. Juan 10/19/2007 13:25

    You might ask, "why would the FBI search a warehouse in a rape case?"

    Well, I heard a rumor David Copperfield keeps his penis in that warehouse.

    Also his rape videos, rape notebooks and diaries, rape maps, and a big wall chart with future rape possibilities listed in alphabetical order. 

    He also has one of those really neat boxes you put women in when you are going to rape them saw them in half.

  15. Willie Beamin 10/19/2007 13:25

    and Claudia reappear

     

  16. Juan 10/19/2007 13:26

    ^oops, Topper beat me to the "saw in half" joke.

  17. Crabbus 10/19/2007 13:26

    SHOULDNT HAVE BANGED SHITHOLES

  18. Morgan Fistman 10/19/2007 13:26

    i like to use surprise sex

  19. Willie Beamin 10/19/2007 13:26

    I wish I had an unexpected vagina surplus….right now

  20. Who's idea was the corn? 10/19/2007 13:29

    She probably meant it in a figurative sense.  ya know  "I can't believe I paid to watch that crap!  Copperfield really raped me on that one!"

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