The New York Daily News and Star magazine must hate you - you personally - because their headline this morning is about a secret Britney Spears sex room where she keeps all her handcuffs and whips and stuff and the fact that she has fecal matter from her dogs and babies smeared all over her couch. Delightful, yes?
…the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room" filled with ticklers, whips and fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe. The second-floor room also features a mirrored ceiling, a glass jar containing spanking paddles and a closet full of kinky outfits
"She wears Catholic schoolgirl uniforms, a maid's uniform and a Cinderella outfit … Britney is sexually obsessed," the source tells Star.
Star's source also claims the house is a stinky sty — that the white couches bear hideous stains of diaper-changing and Britney's dog. According to the tab, a "court-appointed watchdog" is set to declare the place a potential "health hazard."
They also say something about her being pregnant again but thanks to a weak gag reflex, I never made it that far. It's like this story was filtered through magic to inventory my nightmares and spill them onto the page. I'm genuinely surprised there's not a paragraph about me going to the mall naked and sexy cheerleaders laughing at my penis.
Sounds about right….
I'm betting the dog and the babies are not the only ones guilty of shitting on the couch.
I admit…I did wipe my ass on the cusions at Brit's house that one time.
…the plummeting pop star's Mulholland Drive mansion is equipped with a double-locked, X-rated "Fantasy Room"
What's wrong with that?
I have my own "Fantasy Room"….It's my head.
who changes a fuckin diaper on a white couch. And i doubt she was actually changing the diapers, im sure the kids probably just took them off and flung them on the couch screaming.
I've said this before and I'll say it again–WHO would have sex with Britney at this point? Even her vibrator pretends its batteries are dead.
well, her album shit the bed, so the rest comes to no surprise.
Also, I think it's a safe bet that she's a sex-freak now. Think of all of that anger and agression and internal conflict with right and wrong and sheer mind-fuck stupidity. I bet afterwards, the guy is covered in bruises and his balls are sore. I totally think she'd fuck you stupid at this point.
Speaking of sore balls…
Hi Kitten…I miss our…"talks".
I wish sexy cheerleaders laughed at my penis - they usually just scream and cry out things like "You're disgusting, coach!!!"
I'd totally hit it. I love sex with talentless drug addicted bimbos with meaty asses. I'd bang her on all 4s and see how many things I could stuff in her ass.
Britney, if you're reading this, call me.
Who the hell let a reporter into my apartment!?!?!
Wasn't there a Tucker Max story about him flipping a sofa cushion because he got a skidmark on it?
Has Correction Chimp ever been to Britney's house?
i bet britney crouches behind the dogs as they shit and takes it all in her mouth before smearing it over her body and rolling around on the sofa. mmmmm she likes the dawgie choklit.
it's about all she's good for right now.
In Brit's defense, wet dogshit does look a bit like a melted Reese's Cup….
aaaaand Percy for the win, so early in the competition.
I wonder if she would wear a strap-on and fuck my christmas sheep.
If it works out Joe, send pics. thx -cheese
Is the "court-appointed watchdog" planning on declaring Britney a health hazard as well?