Christina Aguilera gave birth this morning in Los Angeles at around 4am. It is the first child for her and husband Jordan Bratman, whom she married in November of 2005. E! news says:
The couple announced the birth in a quick text message to friends and family around 4 p.m.: "Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!"
There were no further details immediately available. "As soon as I have more information I will let you know," the singer's rep said.
And a few hours earlier at the very same hospital, the Chupacabra gave birth to … god only knows … something ugly I promise you that. People says:
Nicole Richie and her boyfriend Joel Madden are the parents of a daughter.
Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs. 7 oz.
"The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents," says the rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.
No word on when the first pictures of Harlow will show up, or if film will even agree to capture her image. There's no way around it, this bitch is gonna be ugly. I think a funny joke would have been for the doctor to take one look and then push it back in, saying "I don't think this ones done yet!" Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!
What a good lookin' tomato
Hey, wtf! He changed the picture…
Fist . . . I am, TURD!!!
FIST!…. Damnn
no more pregnant pissy chick.. double damn
wait a minute, wasn't Aguilera pregnant for, like……3 days? Does 9 months exist in 3 days in Hollywood?
Where am I? Who am I?
xtina had her kid… great news. is it already a slut?
I can't wait to see what this hispanic, hairy jew like creature looks like that was shit out of Christina.
As for Nicole………..that kid's got scales, and a forked tongue.
Rosemary Baby, comes to mind…
Run for them hills!!!
Harlow. That's a great name.
-Harlot
-Lard-ho.
-Hard-blow
-Harlem-ho.
-Blow-hole.
What is up with his lips? Jew lips….
I bet fish are looking at this photo and are saying: Fuck, I wish I had lips like Jordan Bratman..
So they texted people news of the birth from the future?? Freaking cool.
So Nicole's baby weighs more than her.
The CHUPACABRE is in the photo…. WTF? What is that thing between Jordan and Christina?
"The
beautiful healthybabygirlparasite left the hospital with herecstaticparentshosts," says the repfixed
Hey everybody, I'm writing a book about Aguilera and her husband, how they grew up apart but then met each other, fell in love, had a child, etc. I'm thinking of making into a 7 volume series. Here is an excerpt:
"You're a wizard, Jordan"
"I'm a what?"
"I said you're a Jew sorcerer, Bratman!"
EE
It's a good start.
M aybe he can be The fish that became human..
So that explains the wretched growling and hideous screeches that plagued the hospital last night. Early reports described Nicole's thing (uh, I mean, "baby") jumped out of her snatch, grabbed a cane and top-hat, and danced down the hall singing "Hello my baby, Hello my Honey" aka its look-a-like midget T-Rex alien in Spaceballs.
What's the odds that two antichrists would be born on the same day, in the same hospital, several hours apart?
Nicole is already teaching her little bundle of joy how to throw up after meals