AGUILERA, CHUPACABRA ARE NEW MOMS

Christina Aguilera gave birth this morning in Los Angeles at around 4am.  It is the first child for her and husband Jordan Bratman, whom she married in November of 2005.  E! news says:

The couple announced the birth in a quick text message to friends and family around 4 p.m.: "Baby has arrived. Mom and dad are doing well!"There were no further details immediately available. "As soon as I have more information I will let you know," the singer's rep said.

And a few hours earlier at the very same hospital, the Chupacabra gave birth to … god only knows … something ugly I promise you that.   People says:

Nicole Richie and her boyfriend Joel Madden are the parents of a daughter.Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs. 7 oz."The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents," says the rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.

No word on when the first pictures of Harlow will show up, or if film will even agree to capture her image.  There's no way around it, this bitch is gonna be ugly.  I think a funny joke would have been for the doctor to take one look and then push it back in, saying "I don't think this ones done yet!"  Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk!