The Academy Awards are scheduled for Sunday, February 24th, but at this point no one knows what it will be like because of the ongoing writers strike. Jon Stewart is scheduled to host but has said he won't cross a picket line, a sentiment shared by many actors. Most actors are pretentious dicks but they have been extremely cool in their unwavering support of the writers. It just goes to show you can't judge a book by it's cover. Or by the pages inside apparently, because actors really are insufferable. Anyway, in the sprit of optimism, the nominees were announced very early this morning. Some of the highlights:
Best Picture: "Atonement," "Juno," "Michael Clayton," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."Actor: George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"; Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"; Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"; Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah"; Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises."
Actress: Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"; Julie Christie, "Away From Her"; Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose"; Laura Linney, "The Savages"; Ellen Page, "Juno."
Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"; Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"; Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"; Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton."
Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There"; Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"; Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"; Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"; Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton."
Director: Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Jason Reitman, "Juno"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."
It seems the big story is all the nominations for "Juno". I never saw that one. It sounds like a board game that involves steady hands and cunning. The big surprise is probably Angelina Jolie not getting a nod for "A Mighty Heart", a movie seemingly made for that one reason. Their mistake was making Angelina all ugly. No one wants to go to a movie and look at ugly people. It could have been the same movie but with Angelina in a half shirt and boy shorts, and with way less talking and way more car washing. These people have a lot to learn about how to make a good movie.
Oh boy. Another award show where Hollywood's elite can pat each other on the back.
Wow, Meatloaf is aging poorly.
Huh, I am suprised my movie was not nomiated again. I mean, could there be anything more important then Man Bear Pig?
The next time any of you guys (youse guys?) see Angeline Jolie……
……..remind her that the easiest path to Academy Award gold is to follow the lead of Halle Berry and get fucked six ways to Sunday by some ugly guy. And cry while it happens.
I will volunteer…..
……my credentials?
……or at least the only one I ever did it with cried.
CRIED FOR MORE, bitches!!!!!!!!
What!!!!!
Britney Spears is a presenter now?
I thought crying during sex was normal?
Best Blog Commenter: Dirty Hairy
Who? For… what?
On a completely unrelated topic, I saw Cloverfield yesterday and it pretty much kicks all the ass. If you don't like it, you should be punched in the neck…
Cloverfield represents man bear pig and is very real and needs to be dealt with
Best blog reader and yawner?
Observer!!!!!!!
Lifetime award.
My neck is hurting…..
I saw the Cloverfield advertisement on TV and changed the channel to PBS Sprout.
Much more thrills.
Best use of BTK and A2M in a blog comment: lgcjoker's A2MLBTK Day celebration
I can honestly say that this strike hasn't effected me the least. But if it means a smaller or no award ceremony, let me be the first to say: whoopie! These asshats that call themselfs actors really dont need more attention, they get enough from driving drunk and making crap they call "epic movies". And the writers should work at McDonalds for a year, see if they complain about how much they get paid after that.
Juno is the only one of those films I have seen. So it should win every award it was nominated for.
The strangest thing about this is that the five year-olds who write for The Daily Show actually have held out this long. Someone must be hooking them up with their usual supply of PB and J with the crusts cut off…
The Writers strike has affected my next movie, An Inconveinent Truth Part Deux. Hiring actors to tell the truth with a straight face is much harder then a lot of you could possibly know.
Was Viggo nominated for most gratuitous dick shot? Cause yeah, that's the whole reason that movie was made.
Depp all the way.
Remember: When ManBearPigs are outlawed, only the terrorists will have ManBearPigs…
Best Truckstop Hooker: Dooter!