One time me and my buddy Randy and my buddy Dave were bow hunting and we were in the cabin on the first night knocking down bottles of Southern Comfort, because we're hicks from Louisiana and that's what we drink. Anyway, Dave passed out at around 3am so of course me and Randy dragged him into the woods and stripped him naked and rolled him onto his stomach and poured about 4 bottles of Doe In Heat on his ass. If you don't know, Doe In Heat is urine of a female deer and it's used to attract male deer. Just a few drops will attract every horny buck within a hundred miles. The plan was to have some huge stag come mount Dave, but we were making tons of noise, and so unfortunately no deer ever made love to Daves anus. Which is probably for the best, since an erect deer penis is about four feet long, and I bet Dave would have been pretty surprised to get sodomized by that, to wake up with that pressing against his heart and collapsing his rectum. It would have been worth it though because we could have said, "Wow, he deer-ly loves you Dave!" "What an en-deer-ing couple you two make!" Ha-ha-ha!
Oh and also Ashlee Simpson dyed her hair.
Will you please stop flattering this loser wannabe 'celebrity' by reporting on her? She is a nothing and a nobody with zero talent. Also, even with the new nose, she is what I like to call 'stunningly unatractive'…
P.S. FIRST!!!
id rather look at pics of a deer mounting your buddy than have to hear about her anymore.
Haha, that was an awesome story.
Fuck I hate the name Randy, it makes me think of car mechanics or the grumpy douchebag in the plumbing section at Home Depot. Also, it's my name, FUCK! K I'm off to the Name Office or whatever it is to change it
I say we talk about the Snorg Tee chick some more
anyone else notice the man hands she's got goin on there? also of note: peace sign tattoo on her finger.
OOF
Nice camera work there. I guess all the paps who know anything about exposure compensation are chasing Britney around.
"RICKAAY!!"
Brend)n and his buddies were drinking bottles of Doe In Heat, they dragged "Dave" out to the woods and tipped 4 bottles of Southern Comfort over his ass and then sodomised him roughly 'til dawn.
How do I know? I was
Davein the woods wearing a deer costume. Saw the whole thing.Looks good, good for her.
This is maybe the greatest post you've ever written.
Now she looks like that chick from A Fine Frenzy.
greatest way for me to wake up in the morning is to read the most oddly awkward, random but yet highly enlightening story that I've heard in a long time. Keep it coming, thats what she said
Wonder if she dyed her ass hair red too…rarr.
That is the funniest post you've ever written on here.
She now looks even more like the Cloverfield monster.
I'd fuck it.
She's a phony! She's a big, fat, phony!
jews? what jews? no you idiot, juice, the jamba juice
I fucking love you Brend0n. Call me! *wink*