01.10.2008 KATIE WILL RUN THE BOSTON MARATHON

Back in November, Katie Holmes ran the New York City Marathon, her first one, and now Us Weekly is reporting that she has signed up for her second, this time the famous Boston Marathon. Us says:

Holmes had placed 34,193rd among 39,085 entrants in the New York City marathon (26.2 miles in about 5 hours and 30 minutes) on Nov. 4, which means she didn't qualify by merit for the April 21st race in Boston.
Runners in the Boston Marathon must have specific qualifying times. For Holmes' age group, that would mean finishing a previous marathon in 3 hours and 40 minutes.
The actress "received an exemption," a marathon insider tells Us, because race organizers "occasionally give out 'charity entrances.'"

It's easy to make fun of Katie Holmes for a hundred different reasons, but at least she exercises and keeps her body looking hot, unlike that fatass Jennifer Love Hewitt, who seems to think running is only for when your car breaks down in the rain or if you’re being chases by zombies.

(katie last night at the premier of "mad money".  picture source = getty images)




(58) Comments

  1. bryce 01/10/2008 10:19

    Run Katie, RUN!!!

  2. bryce 01/10/2008 10:19

    *away from the space cultists*

  3. Dr. Gonzo 01/10/2008 10:22

    she can run, but they've got space ships and can find her in any galaxy. it would be easier on everybody if she would just relax and let it happen…

  4. Juan 01/10/2008 10:23

    Yes, I can mock everything about her except this.  It's hard to fake-run a marathon.

    Of course, she does have super-secret-Scientology technology and mind-preparation on her side.  She probably thinks she's on a pleasant 5-hour stroll thru the Napa Valley. 

  5. Dr. Gonzo 01/10/2008 10:23

    it's funny that katie is a charity case. i guess everybody feels sorry for her- but we must remember that she brought it all on herself.

  6. Mongoose 01/10/2008 10:23

    Even more impressive than her first performance in a marathon is that she did it without a bra and without sweating!

  7. Dr. Gonzo 01/10/2008 10:24

    5 hour stroll is about right. mock away, mr. juan.

  8. Chunk 01/10/2008 10:24

    Here's a point i wanted to make last time this picture was posted. 

     

    You see her big fat nips there?  Now, people of all genders who run marathons know that that you can cause your nipples to bleed from the friction of rubbing up against your clothing while you're moving so much.  And her nips look fine if not down right delicious.  They're certainly not bleeding.  

     

    She's a liar and just ran out into the flow of the race near the end!   FUCK YOU KAITIE!  TRYING TO FOOL US!  

  9. Pennsylvania's Finest 01/10/2008 10:26

    The actress "received an exemption," a marathon insider tells Us, because race organizers "occasionally give out 'charity entrances.'"

       translation:  the Sea Orgs paid a visit to marathon organizers.

  10. DB's Treasure 01/10/2008 10:26

    Why do people think she's hot? I just do not see it at all, nor have I ever seen it. She looks like a "skate or die" 14 year old suburban white boy.

  11. yelraf 01/10/2008 10:28

    @Chunk:  Ditto.  I know plenty of men and women that wound up with bloody nips before they learned their lesson.  And one female runner that I know laughed at Katie's "flowy, yoga like pants"…most female runners wear compression pants.  I'll believe it a little more if she wears a bra and tapes her nipples up.

  12. Dirty Hairy 01/10/2008 10:29

    Brend0n-You left "buffet doors open" off of the JLH list. I got your back, bro!

  13. Mongro Jackson 01/10/2008 10:29

    I've raised children in the time that Katie "ran" that marathon.  Just to put it in perspective, a 5 hour 30 minute running time would equal out to around 12.67 minutes per mile.  Even if she jogged lightly, she would have averaged around 9 minutes per mile… Which basically means that she must have stopped a couple of times to go shopping to take that long.  She probably sprained her knee, got it checked out, gave it some time to heal, and then finished the marathon. 

    Poor Katie.

  14. Mongro Jackson 01/10/2008 10:30

    Her nipples were never in peril, or perhaps, after the first 10 minutes of jogging, when her funbags started getting sore, she stopped running and started crawling.

  15. Pennsylvania's Finest 01/10/2008 10:35

    blistering speed

    considering the average person walks at 3.5 miles/hour and she is "running" at 4.8 miles/hour.

    being a runner myself, it is very difficult to "run" this slow. in fact in marathons, if you are going to take longer than 5 hours, they recommend you join the marathon walk which usually starts at a different time.

     

     

  16. Doctress Leisa 01/10/2008 10:40

    KATIE WILL PRETEND TO RUN THE BOSTON MARATHON

    Fixed. 

  17. gravy donor 01/10/2008 10:43

    KATIE WILL PRETEND TO RUN THE BOSTON MARATHON

    Fixed. 

     

    Indeed!

  18. TengoWood 01/10/2008 10:43

    She's just pulling the old "disappear in the crowd" thing on Tom. She's ran to pepper's NYC apartment and had a hot 3-way with him and his hottie GF.

    Boston. Must be Observer. Ob, take pics, please.

    Everyone's right. No way she actually ran it:
    That pace is painful. Too slow.
    Nipples would be chafed off.
    Dry as a bone.

    Unless she ran it like Rosie Ruiz (ran 2 miles, then took a bus)…

  19. TengoWood 01/10/2008 10:45

    DB, you don't want to 'Ollie' all over her?

  20. fister 01/10/2008 10:46

    i don't care, i'd still keep going after xenus leftovers fell out her ass

You must be logged in to post a comment.