By brendon February 11, 2008 @ 3:39 PM

Redban shot a video Saturday night of Ashlee Simpsosn giving an impromptu concert at Ritual in Hollywood, and you may think you know how amazing it was, but you're wrong. It was way way worse. Despite assurances to the DJ that she was "ready to rock", Ashlee in fact seemed unprepared to rock, so instead she just kinda hopped back and forth like she was walking on hot sand. This is mixed in with some spastic wiggling, as if she was on a ledge and trying not to fall off. Greatest Performer of All Time? Yes. Greatest Performer of All Time.

Also, is that a wedding ring on her finger?  It's more evident in this QuickTime copy.  Whats that all about?  I would investigate further, but it turns out I don't care.

(48) Comments

  1. avatar
    JC 02/11/2008 15:59


  2. avatar
    Ketchtwenty2 02/11/2008 16:00

    Consistent quality is a hallmark of the Simpson product

  3. avatar
    Al Gore 02/11/2008 16:01

    Told you all in a previous post, the one before this one in case you dont know what previous means, and I was right, she is the greatest!!!!  I mean come on, L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E , fucking ingenious!!!!

  4. avatar
    DB's Treasure 02/11/2008 16:03

    wow, 4 seconds in and I stop the video…

    …I hung around a lot longer than I thought 

  5. avatar
    yelraf 02/11/2008 16:06

    What a fuckin' idiot.  The boil on my left nut has more talent than she does.  And it's a less painful experience, too.

  6. avatar
    givinupthefight 02/11/2008 16:06

    I made it all the way to when she hugged the DJ and then realized I really don't give a shit about this girl.

  7. avatar
    nae 02/11/2008 16:11

    not that it matters one way or the other, but thats the wrong hand for a wedding ring.

  8. avatar
    Al Gore 02/11/2008 16:11

    How can you people be so mean to such a gifted artist?  Prince only wishes he had half the gumption she got

  9. avatar
    frankXchange 02/11/2008 16:13

    A very carefully planned and staged inpromptu concert to convince everyone she might have as much talent as, say, a sing-along trout.

  10. avatar
    Ketchtwenty2 02/11/2008 16:13

    She doesn't have gumption….she's got MOXIE.  DAMNIT GET YOUR IRRELEVANT ADJECTIVES CORRECT!  This is Ashlyee  F'n Simpson you are referring to!

  11. avatar
    CharlieMurphy 02/11/2008 16:14

    eugh.. just throw her and her airheaded sister to the lions

  12. avatar
    Slow Patrol 02/11/2008 16:14

    AG – …and moxy.

    That young lady is on a one-way express trip on the superstar rocket shuttle fueled by gumption, moxy and strawberry lipgloss.

  13. avatar
    Slow Patrol 02/11/2008 16:15

    dammit, K22

  14. avatar
    Al Gore 02/11/2008 16:18

    They wouldnt be Irrelevant if there correct!!  Check and mate! 

  15. avatar
    Al Gore 02/11/2008 16:19

    Or is it mate then check?  I think you mate then check when you lose at checkers right?

  16. avatar
    dreamclaimer 02/11/2008 16:21

    I wonder what sort of deal Jessica had to make with the devil to get all the good looks in the family?

  17. avatar
    Slow Patrol 02/11/2008 16:22

    Jessica had to accept being completely dvoid of talent or intelligence to pull off that coup.

  18. avatar
    JC 02/11/2008 16:22

    Paris Hilton's The Hottie & the Nottie took in $25,000 at the box office this past weekend. Don't go searching for the asterisk or the extra zeroes, that is not a typo… 

  19. avatar
    Doctress Leisa 02/11/2008 16:24

    The only time she should be allowed on a stage is if she's sweeping it.

    In other news, I am on the air at 2 pm PST Come support your fellow Durdenite (or tell me how much I suck).

  20. avatar
    Slow Patrol 02/11/2008 16:25

    The only way I would go see that flick is if it ended with Paris being the victim of a mafia hit by throwing her to a pack of vicious dogs.

    The Hottie, the Nottie, John Gotti and a Rottie

    Summer 2008

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