Us magazine and the Sun among others seem to think that a blog entry by John Mayer is about Jessica Simpson. In it, he posts a letter which asks an ex girlfriend to leave him alone, but he never comes out and gives a name. He's run through some pretty famous ass, including Jessica, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Minka Kelly. Really it could be about anyone, but it's probably about your mom (zing!). He explains:
"I was sitting in the airport lounge this morning when I started scribbling out lyrics and such … Don't read too far into this on a personal level (there are no hidden messages) … I just thought it sums up how crazy love can be."
And the letter says:
“Dear Ex Lover,
“Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore.
“I don't know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I'm done trying.
“I hope this is enough closure for you.
“Goodbye.
“P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."
Oh, I know where to find you all right. And you know where to find me … AND OUR BABY! *DUN-DUN-DUN*
Wait, I’m a dude. Okay never mind.
wow - a clutchy female - who would have ever thought this?
Bitch slapped by John Mayer……..that's pretty sad.
BTW, looks like she was groomed well by prior boyfriends to have low self-esteem and thus be needy.
CONCLUSION: she gives anal.
…well if Mayer would just give Borat his mankini back I'm sure he'd leave him alone.
“P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."
Means if you want to come over and give me head but will leave promptly after feel free.
Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne Campbell: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne Campbell: A gun rack… a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne Campbell: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
Yep, Jennifer Love Hewitt has apretty famous ass - especially after her engagement on holiday pictures were splashed across the internet. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have a widescreen format notebook, so I could see it all in its glory.
Hi. I'm John Mayer. As if my music did't suck enough, I am also a condescending bastard of a human being.
"Perhaps you didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore."
“P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me."
Way to send out those clear messages pal. I bet he's one of those douche bags that tells girls to call him all the time, but then never answers his phone and gets mad at them the next time he sees them and acts all hurt and stuff. That's the formula that fuels his passionate music. What an artist! Douchetastic!!!!
THIS IS NEWS?
To USA # 1…well played, sir. Superb Wayne's World quote. Bring back memories…….
Mayer looks like Marc Anthony in that pic. They're both such a catch, I'm not sure how he could wade thru all those panties and motel room keys on his way to anywhere…
What's his religion?
Hot chicks with mental issues will make your life inpossible, if you’re not careful.
Carrie U,
He's a Vagitarian, why?
and impossible, too.
why doesn't he just send the crazy bitch an email? publicity stunt.
P.S. Love Hewitt's ass IS famous, for being huge.
STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU WHORE!!!!! (but if you need me, you know how to find me…)
What a douche.
The title of the song is "Jake Gyllenhaal is such a bitch" in D Minor
He wrote an online secret letter to a girl so stupid she can't figure out how they got a chicken in a can. Got to give him props for assuming she could read.
Good thing you didn't attempt suicide, or else you'd have Jessica standing over your body sticking batteries in your mouth to revive you.
Dear John,
“Perhaps YOU didn't understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I'll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have a water filtration system. “I don't know how much more clear I can be about it.
“Goodbye.
“P.S. Your songs suck and I'm using the Culligan man now."