The story that Tom Cruise set up and auditioned prospective wives - the result of which was Katie Holmes - has been around for a few years now and been on Tyler at least twice (including here) but today it's alive again, this time because of new claims from an ex high ranking scientologist. So does this mean its true? Uhh, sure why not. Page Six says:
Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for the religion, spoke to Britain’s News of the World and said that following Tom's split from Penelope Cruz in 2004, the megastar told head of Scientology David Miscavige that he was having trouble meeting women. So the church sent out a casting call that said, “There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.” There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties.
While a few female Scientologists were rounded up — Traffic’s Erika Christensen and CSI: Miami's Sofia Milos — they were all rejected as Tom focused his attention on bigger stars. “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order,” Marc says. “Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”
It's hard not to notice that this is pretty much the same thing lonely perverts do when they want to bang teen runaways forced into porn. They set up fake production offices and put out ads for "new models". And it works too. (*)
(*) don’t I know it … heh heh heh
NOTE - Im pretty sure Scarlett Johansson was already cast in MI:3, along with that Trinity chick from the Matrix, when it was still set to be written and directed by (the great) Joe Carnahan. He dropped out, JJ Abrahams stepped in, and Scarlett’s role was written out, but only after Cruise freaked her out by trying to marry her.
boohoo
Dating service video: Hi, I'm Tom and I'm just a regular guy. I like walks on the beach, shooting cameras that make me look taller than my co-stars and giving all hail and praise to Xenu! BOW BEFORE XENU! HE IS YOUR NEW MASTER! Call me, ladies.
Jennifer Garner: Big Chin, Bigger Jaw
His main question was, do you mind being impregnated via a turkey baster…
Icky.
I thought the main question was "Do you mind being impregnated via turkey baster with seed that was surgically removed from my testicles?" Because touching your naughty parts is just wrong in the eyes of Xenu.
I heard one time, some guy knocked out the power in the city, and Katie set all his boy slaves free and she got away as well, but apparently they were caught and rounded up when the power returned
Whether this story is true or not. I do think Tommy here has the disease known as "Short mans' complex", n'uff said.
they were looking for a "bigger star" so they moved over to the co-star of Dawsons creek….
Things that make you go hmmmmmm:
Tom's Scientology promotional film gets leaked on YouTube, to the derision of millions …
and now we read …
Marc Headley, who used to produce promotional films for the religion, spoke to Britain’s News of the World
COINCIDENCE? Yeah, probably.
also, he wouldn't have found it so difficult to meet a woman if had spent the odd saturday night OUTSIDE of a mens bathhouse.
Tom was actually the second to last of Rock Hudsons lover- A little known fact!
if Katie had turned him down, the next choice was the rising star…the lady from the craftmatic adjustable beds info-mercials
Yeah, Tom and the former guv of NJ.
"And you're going to have to put your peepee into her peepee to make a baby."
– "eeewwww! Gross! Are you sure I have to do that?
Can't we just use a turkey baster like the lesbians do?"
"I guess but she's going to have to be either really stupid, passed out, or drugged not to notice that it's not you in there…"
–"OK. Who's on the list for this?"
I wish Nicole Kidman would spill the beans on Tom already. You know she is dying too, or it is just so bad that she cant bear to put him thru it. Next he is going to buy a space ship and fly it around telling us how wrong we all are
The other part of this story is that the true reason for the "audition" leaked out, and Michael Jackson and Clay Aiken showed up.
True story.
And by, true, I mean false.
TOm and Nicole wanted kids for years and had to adopt. They separate and bam! Nicole's pregnanat and he's 'fathered' a kid with Katie. Mysteries of life… Go figure.
"If you like cocktails with roofies, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into freedom, only have half-a-brain.
If you'd like marriage to a wacko, and turkey baster rape.
I'm the jerk that you've looked for, come to "Xenu's Escape."
pregnanat
I was prenanat once and gave birth to a fetumus
Based upon Tom's taste in body types, I have surmised he is allergic to breasts.
interesting…I had heard of this and sent in my own audition tape but it wasn't mentioned. Must've gotten lost in the mail.