THE DAILY MAIL IS A TAD SARCASTIC

The Daily Mail says today that Nicole Kidman has gotten so much Botox lately that she now looks like a bat.  It quotes a doctor who … wait, what?  A bat? Really?  WTF does that even mean?

"Nicole seems to get her Botox done two or three weeks before a big event so when she, for instance, goes up on stage to collect her Academy Award she looks frozen and strange," Dr Braun said."She looks like a bat with too much of a brow lift, the middle of the brow's been dropped, she's crying when she accepts her Oscar but nothing is moving."That's really doing nothing to help our job because we've got women coming to us saying that's what we don't want to look like.""These people who have extraordinary amounts of money and fame are actually getting, in my opinion, poor medical advice."

For everyone who doesn’t live in a spooky gothic castle, the Mail thankfully includes a side by side picture of Nicole and a bat, just so you know what an insane comparison it truly is (not shown: a crime fighting silhouette flashed across the clouds, sending a chill into the hearts of evil men).  The doctor might as well have said she looks like a fire-breathing crocodile.  I don’t know what the fuck that means either but at least it would been a kick ass picture.