TOM CRUISE MIGHT BE RETARDED

Tom Cruise sings and dances. I had some other intro written for this but who the fuck cares. This video shows Tom Cruise singing and dancing at his scientology birthday party. Top that. Gawker – who has done an unbelievable job with this stuff – says:

Andrew Morton wrote in his best-selling biography of Tom Cruise that the Hollywood star was prominent in the hierarchy of the Church of Scientology. Of all of the author's claims, it was (that) one that most enraged the sect: "Insinuations that Mr. Cruise is second-in-command of the Church are not only false, they are ludicrous," the Scientologists maintained. "He is neither 2nd or 100th. Mr. Cruise is a Scientology parishioner and holds no official or unofficial position in the Church hierarchy. Claims to the contrary are offensive to both Mr. Cruise and the Church." But if Cruise was merely a humble parishioner, why in Xenu's name did the sect spend six figures to celebrate his birthday? In a video obtained by Gawker, watch Scientology chief David Miscavige lead the sect's most famous follower into an extravagant celebration of the Hollywood star on Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds.

This religion really knows how to bring it.  Look at Tom Cruise go.  The Pope just got pawned so bad.  Where's your god now?  Not singing and dancing on his very own cruise ship, I'll tell you that.