By brendon April 29, 2008 @ 6:43 AM

You have to remember that actors are fucking idiots and people kiss their ass all day so they think they’re good at stuff but usually they suck.  For some reason this often leads to many of them thinking they can sing.  I blame Fergie because people see that tranny mess flail around on stage like she's choking and they think, "how hard could this be?"  Zoey Deschanel and her band are good if you like that kind of sound, and the Brittany Murphy song with Paul Oakenfold is actually pretty GD great, but Scarlett Johansson has set the new bar for awfulness with her Tom Waits cover of "Falling Down".  The only way this experience could be any worse is if the monitor grew arms and started stabbing you. 

(63) Comments

  1. avatar
    bigmamatuna 04/29/2008 06:56

    Yeah but the bitch has sweet titties and you can't be angry at that.

  2. avatar
    RonDogg 04/29/2008 06:58

    Fisting time sans olive oil

  3. avatar
    Juan 04/29/2008 06:58

    There is a fine line between Scarlett Johansson and William Hung.

    The biggest difference is, I'd have sex with Scarlett.  

    But I respect William too much to view him as a sex object. 

  4. avatar
    RonDogg 04/29/2008 07:00

    She does bang, however..

  5. avatar
    bryce 04/29/2008 07:01

    Scarlett should know her limitations and stick to what she is best at. Walking around naked and doing random people.

  6. avatar
    RonDogg 04/29/2008 07:02

    It could always be Paltrow from DUETS…


    /pukus maximus

  7. avatar
    the gun show 04/29/2008 07:07

    So glad Scarlett made this video.   She really makes me appreciate how hard those actresses work.  She sits in the make up chair, then sits in front of the camera….looks rough… that's right up there with my college carpentry job.

  8. avatar
    MG Admirer 04/29/2008 07:14


    Quick, Scarlett – go and see Hef for the middle spread – you've got about another 2-3 years before we're no longer interested. 

  9. avatar
    Doctress Leisa 04/29/2008 07:15

    Holy shit–with all the electronic tweaking equipment available, she still sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Here's a tip, baby: people would like your music video if you lip-synced with your pussy (sound off, of course).

  10. avatar
    Avatar 04/29/2008 07:19

    Wow, she chose that song so well. It's exactely like her life. Which is why she sings it so soulfully. 

  11. avatar
    Avatar 04/29/2008 07:21

    I think if they ever need to give Frankenstein's creature a voice in some film, they'd have to go with her voice – particularly if the creature's male. Hot stuff!

  12. avatar
    lgcjoker 04/29/2008 07:21

    D'ya think she sounds that fucking annoying when getting fucked in the ass while bent over a toilet in a public restroom?


    Fuck it. I'd still do her even if she did. 

  13. avatar
    yohnskull22 04/29/2008 07:48

    My favorite part is when they slather a bunch of paint/make-up on her fucking stupid tattoo.  Actually, that's as far as I got and had to turn it off.

  14. avatar
    Squabbler 04/29/2008 07:51

    Holy crap.  That did suck.

  15. avatar
    ososexilexi 04/29/2008 07:51

    She sounds like Courtney Love on Xanax.

  16. avatar
    Dowdy Hoody 04/29/2008 07:52


    She's F'n Yoogly.

  17. avatar
    new_kid 04/29/2008 07:55

    Poor little rich kid.

    Kicks ass on LiLo or Paris, but.

  18. avatar
    Doctress Leisa 04/29/2008 07:56

    Better choices for Scarlett covers:

    • Beatles: Why don't we do it in the road
    • DeVinyls: I touch myself
    • Janis Joplin: Get it while you can
    • Loggins & Messina: Love the one you're with
    • Black-eyed Peas: My humps
  19. avatar
    tajmccall 04/29/2008 07:56

    You serious dude?  That fucking Okenfold/Britney Murphy song is a bigger mess than her fucking face.

    terrible dude.  terrible. 

  20. avatar
    LargeMarge 04/29/2008 07:56

    She should stick to the 2 talents she actually does have – her tits.

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