ASHLEE IS GETTING MARRIED SATURDAY

By brendon May 13, 2008 @ 9:53 AM

Bored indifference is sweeping the nation this morning on the heels of Us magazines exclusive claim that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will get married in 5 days, this Saturday, May 17th, at a secret location.  Us says…

    "Proper invites have not been sent out but instead guests have been given a save the date notice," the source told Us.
    The rehearsal dinner – described by the source as "an intimate affair" for "family and close friends only" – will take place on Friday.
    On Saturday, "all guests will be transported in shuttles to the wedding location," the source explained.
    Regarding Simpson's upcoming wedding, her spokesperson told Us: "This is a private matter. There is nothing to confirm."

I just hope this means the rumors are true and she really is pregnant.  What a gift to the music world that child would be.  I know it's early, but I think a good name for the prodigy's first album would be, "Fuck You Brendon’s Ears".

wwtdd

(43) Comments

  1. avatar
    Paparazzi Sniper 05/13/2008 09:56

    Yoshun is getting teabagged by me all day long……….biatch.

  2. avatar
    Shea Nasty 05/13/2008 09:57

    I wonder if she sucks dick good or just lipsynchs her shitty songs around it.

  3. avatar
    HarpuaFSB 05/13/2008 09:58

    Which one's the bride?

  4. avatar
    StinkyChalupa 05/13/2008 09:58

    over/under on her popping out a "premature" within five months?

  5. avatar
    psf 05/13/2008 10:00

    can't we get more pics of chicks topless? yesterday ruled, today not so much

  6. avatar
    GetOffOfMe 05/13/2008 10:01

    god i can't wait to see the chin and the honker on their rug rat.

  7. avatar
    Jake 05/13/2008 10:03

    Hopefully they will both be spayed and neutered before the marriage.  Of course it is Pete Wentz so you may not have to worry about offsprings but it's always good to be safe.  Has homeland security been informed about this?  Isnt this a form of terrorism?

  8. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 05/13/2008 10:03

    over/under on Pete's Gay Lover stopping this before "I do"?

    I'll take it regardless mafuckers.  Kinda like what Pete said about assholes and his penis. 

  9. avatar
    Slaappy got fingered 05/13/2008 10:04

    Hope that kid comes out with reverse stubby arms so it cannot make any shitter music!

  10. avatar
    Mongro Jackson 05/13/2008 10:04

    I would truly love to be there so when the priestasaurus rex says "does anyone have any objections?" I could fart my disapproval with a 2 minute long sharter.

  11. avatar
    djtechsys 05/13/2008 10:05

    i think people are over giving a shit about weddings.

    most of these celebutards marriages end in a couple of years anyway.

  12. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 05/13/2008 10:06

    dj,

    years? I said a couple of weeks ago when this was announced, this will be over before the leaves turn a beautiful ruby red like the blood that comes out of my bitch's nose when she snorts too much microwave meth.

     

    AND I FUCKING MEANT THAT SHIT. 

  13. avatar
    djtechsys 05/13/2008 10:06

    also, petrina's eyes are freaking me out… it's like s/he is trying to emo my soul… and make me cry

  14. avatar
    LoRider 05/13/2008 10:07

    The most hilarious thing here is that these nincompoops think anyone gives a rat's ass.  The worst thing is that People will be all over it.  If she is pregnant, at least they got married before the kid was born.  Too bad the thought never occurs to the rest of the sodomites in Hollywood.

    Oh my, did I type that?

    Ride Lo

  15. avatar
    Mongro Jackson 05/13/2008 10:08

    No reason to post anything else B… You've done a good job.  Keep Megan Fox on the top page!

  16. avatar
    ososexilexi 05/13/2008 10:09

    Shotgun wedding. No surprise. No one cares.

  17. avatar
    The Fried Man 05/13/2008 10:11

    Is Jessica going to breast feed this kid…it would be the nice thing to do for this future fcked up little kid.

  18. avatar
    pepper 05/13/2008 10:17

       Can they kill Kenny?

  19. avatar
    Frank Castle 05/13/2008 10:20

    For some reason I bet Ashlee loves scat.  She just has that "I love being shit on" glint in her eyes.  Or maybe she's just retarded.  It's an enigma I tell you.

  20. avatar
    Ducdang 05/13/2008 10:25

    its not a very well kept secret. they've started setting everything up this morning at a private house on hillside dr in la jolla, ca. i think it's going to be at ted and joan waitt's spread on mt soledad.

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