ASHLEE IS OFFICIALLY PREGNANT, BORING

By brendon May 29, 2008 @ 6:18 AM

The fact that Ashlee Simpson is pregnant has been the worlds worst keep secret for at least a month.  The story broke around April 14th, and after 6 weeks of cutsey little denials, she and her husband Pete Wentz finally officially confirmed the news on Pete’s blog last night.  OK! says…

"While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child," announced Pete and new bride Ashlee, using her new last name for the first time, on the Fall Out Boy bassist's web site, FriendsOrEnemies.com. "This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family."

OK! goes on to say that Ashlee and Pete have already shot footage that they are shopping around for their own version of "Newlyweds", the reality show that chronicled Jessica Simpsons fist (!) few years of marriage.   When asked for a comment, one person who is me said, "That sounds fucking stupid.  Instead of that someone should make a show where some indian gives these two guys a treasure map, and the two guys go all over the world to find the treasure.  And one of them has a tender tummy and he gets really bad diarrhea all the time.  The show could be called 'Waiting For Frank'.  Or something.  I haven't worked out all the beats just yet.  And also there's an Asian girl with big tits.  That would be a good show."



wwtdd

(190) Comments

  1. avatar
    Jake 05/29/2008 06:25

    kill it and by it I mean her

  2. avatar
    djtechsys 05/29/2008 06:25

    the kid will be so emo AND dumb that it won't cry when it comes out of her twat

  3. avatar
    Juan 05/29/2008 06:25

    The spawn of this duo will definitely be the Anti-Christ, so their TV show should be called The Omen–This Time It's for Real, Bitches.

     

  4. avatar
    Ballsnyc 05/29/2008 06:25

    God must love stupid people he made so many of them!

  5. avatar
    Ballsnyc 05/29/2008 06:26

    I hope she will be singing on stage and she will have a miscarriage  and blood oozes down her leg!

  6. avatar
    Jake 05/29/2008 06:27

    It's called inbreeding Balls

  7. avatar
    Juan 05/29/2008 06:27

    Ashlee is so dumb that she thinks when she gives birth it will just fall out, boy.

    Get it?  Get it?

    Oh, you all make me sick.

     

     

  8. avatar
    tittytwister 05/29/2008 06:28

    That baby is gonna look like an orangutan. All of the best features from mom and dad.

  9. avatar
    Observer 05/29/2008 06:30

    I'd watch a reality show about Ashlee using a strap-on and slamming it into Jessica.

     

    I love Ashlee Simpleton.

  10. avatar
    lady garden 05/29/2008 06:31

    i don't care if they are married-sluts

  11. avatar
    Jake 05/29/2008 06:31

    Juan that is why she is pregnant  – He said should I wear a condom and she said no it will just fall out boy

  12. avatar
    The Fried Man 05/29/2008 06:35

    If Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson are your parents do you automatically get untimed testing at school?  It is a legit disability, right?

  13. avatar
    Observer 05/29/2008 06:35

    She is the hottest thing in my left hand right now.

    Fuck!!

    I love chicks like her.

    Why didn't she shave save herself for me?

  14. avatar
    Observer 05/29/2008 06:37

    TAMPA – A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.

    Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.

    When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

     

    My house is a filthy as the thoughts I have about Ashlee. 

  15. avatar
    Paleomiz 05/29/2008 06:39

    we are expecting our first child

    God help us.

  16. avatar
    djtechsys 05/29/2008 06:39

    Brend*n said: "…that chronicled Jessica Simpsons fist (!) few years of marriage."

     

    looks like he fisted this post…

  17. avatar
    ososexilexi 05/29/2008 06:39

    No surprise here. But the world will gasp when they finally announce that it's Pete who's carrying the baby.

  18. avatar
    djtechsys 05/29/2008 06:40

    or that it's Joe's seed

  19. avatar
    tittytwister 05/29/2008 06:41

    That explains his sympathy sickness.

  20. avatar
    lady garden 05/29/2008 06:41

    i always had him down as someone who would change lanes without indicating

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