ELISHA CUTHBERT IS A NHL WHORE – UPDATE

Elisha Cuthbert is in Hawaii this week with her new boyfriend, Dion Phaneuf, a defencemen for the Calgary Flames.  He is not to be confused with Elisha's last two boyfriends; Sean Avery of the New York Rangers or Mike Komisarek of the Montreal Canadians.  The Sun UK says…

The athletic pair couldn't keep their hands off each other as they splashed around in the warm waters of Hawaii.An onlooker said: "It's not hard to see why Elisha is in big demand. She looked fabulous."Although she battled with her bikini top in the waves not wanting to give anything away."

I saw a gang bang porn one time where three hockey players collapsed the anus of some blond chick, in what I assume was a faithful re-creation of an Elisha Cuthbert dinner party.  Except I don’t think those were real hockey player’s in the movie.  Also, the girl wasn’t really a Navy SEAL, even though the box specifically said she was.  That’s annoying.  Bullshit like that really takes me out of the story.

treacherous update – okay so it turns out the guy may not be Dion Phaneuf, according to an email from handsome reader Luke.  "Dion Phaneuf is playing in the World Hockey Championships in Halifax, Nova Scotia right now as part of Team Canada and has been a part of said team since his Calgary Flames were knocked out of the playoffs on April 22nd."  What a mystery!