EVE MENDES IS NAKED, WEIRD

I’m extremely grateful to Italian Vogue for getting Eva Mendes to pose almost naked, but they still manage to make it all weird and less awesome than it should have been.  For starters, they gave her a red afro in some of these.  It's like I'm jacking off to the mayor of hamburger town.  Gee thanks.  Also they have a picture of her with her foot in her mouth.  Here's the math on that: hot piece of ass + foot in her mouth = weirdo photographer.  She’s a hot naked chick with big tits and dark perfect skin, like a sexy gypsy, casting a spell on my penis.  This really shouldn’t have been so hard.